Ask Professor Popcorn: The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh

The following note came on a burned piece of an old phone book from somewhere up north…

Dear Professor Popcorn,
Why doesn’t Piglet stand up for himself when Eeyore inexplicably gives away his house to Owl, and why does Owl so coldly take Piglet’s house away from him?

Name illegible

Dear Name,

This cartoon classic is made up of three shorter films that were produced by Disney as anti-Canadian propaganda in the ’60s and ’70s, when America’s tensions with our neighbors up north were at a fever pitch, and many felt that we were on the brink of nuclear armageddon. When Walt Disney read A.A. Milne’s work during a sexual encounter with Dick Van Dyke, he thought Pooh would be a perfect character to embody his hatred for Canadian prime minister Lester B. Pearson, due to their violent love triangle with Dick Van Dyke. Disney presented Pooh as a bumbling fool with no brain that was obsessed with honey (honey representing both the American dream and Dick Van Dyke’s sweet essence).

As for the section of the film you’re referencing, Winnie the Pooh and the Blustery Day, the key characters are broken down thusly:
Winnie the Pooh: Pearson
Piglet: The weak Canadian people who can’t do anything for themselves
Owl: America (originally changed to a bald eagle for the initial release of the film, but drawn over as an owl after the tribunal’s judgment)
Eeyore: The United Nations
The Blustery Day: Nuclear war

At the end of Blustery Day, when Eeyore decrees that Piglet’s House is now Owl’s, Disney is really pushing the message that the United Nations should oust Canada from all their ranks and every Canadian citizen should find homes elsewhere. And that is exactly what happened in 1971, and what was once known as Canada is now a wasteland of feral ghouls, super mutants, and radroaches. Unfortunately for Walt Disney, this was the last film he would work on before his death in 1966, so he never got to see his glorious vision come to life. But he will be pleasantly surprised when he is thawed out and resurrected in 2021.

Your picture pal,
Professor Popcorn