Stella Dallas (1937)

Starring: I think it was like Mae West or maybe Jean Harlow or one of those blondes from back then

Directed by: No idea, could be King Vidor for all I know, probably not, but I love that name

Synopsis: I think Stella was a showgirl or something? Or a poor girl who loved a rich man but couldn’t have him? That sounds semi-right.

What works:

• I don’t remember a god damn thing about this movie.

What doesn’t work:

• Forcing a classroom of people in their early 20s to watch this during one of the most important days the world has ever known.

Overall: So there I was in my senior year of college, reluctantly getting out of bed to go to my “Women in Film” class, when I saw a text on my plastic Nokia phone from my then-girlfriend-now-wife that just said, “Turn on the TV.” I don’t think I need to explain to you what I saw when I turned on the TV that morning of September 11, 2001. It was a turning point for America as we knew it, and was one of the most significant dates in world history. The impact of that day has been felt throughout our lives in innumerable facets for the past 14 years. It was the “where were you” event of a generation. Where was I? In “Women in Film” class, watching fucking Stella Dallas. I had to attend, because I had missed the class the week before, so I didn’t want to fall behind and have it affect my 2.6 GPA. So, I went, and instead of the professor telling us it was ok to go home and watch these unbelievable historic events unfold, she had us stay and watch Stella Dallas. Why she felt that was more crucial, I’ll never know. Like mostly everyone, I was stunned, moved, and angered by that day, which has been seared into my brain and is something I could never possibly forget. But I don’t remember a fucking thing about Stella Dallas.

Score: .9  (out of 11)