SHITFEST 2015: SNOWPIERCER (2013)

Snowpiercer, a horribly stupid movie reviewed in the beauty of haiku.

Isaacs Picture Conclusions

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THIS ENORMOUS ENTRY SUBMITTED BY THE ENORMOUSLY TESTICLED BRIAN FROM:

HTTHV

snowppost

Snowpiercer: A Haiku-powered Journey

“Train Kept A-Rollin”

Train runs ‘round the world

Every piece of track intact

No need for upkeep

Train Kept A-Rollin

“Around the World”

What’s the point of the

train going around the world?

Small circle instead?

Around the World

“Caste System”

Rich front, poor back, but

why are there poor on the train

in the first place, huh?

Caste System

“The Arm”

Cold enough to freeze

this guy’s arm off, but later

we’ll just walk outside

The Arm

“Accents”

This kid lived his whole

life on the train, but speaks like

Benny Hill? Nonsense

Accents

“The Revolution Begins”

Puts gun to forehead

Click. Not loaded. But he could

have aimed it elsewhere

The Revolution Begins

“Roach Bars”

We’re eating roaches!

We find that gross! Even though

we ate human flesh

Roach Bars

“Packing on the Pounds”

If we only eat

roach bars, then why is that one

woman heavyset?

Packing on the Pounds

“Meat Locker”

Frozen…

View original post 255 more words

4 thoughts on “SHITFEST 2015: SNOWPIERCER (2013)

  1. Yeah dude.I’m not gonna lie, I’ve gone back and forth on this one (haven’t seen it yet), but the look of Tilda Swinton is enough to make me scoff at this thing. I guess I’m just looking forward to seeing Chris Evans in anything but Captain America. how does he do in the film? Is he bad too…?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hahaha Swinton is probably the best part of this movie! There is no arguing with its flaws that is for sure, but it does has some things going for it. I’d give it at least one try, its certainly a unique movie, both in terms of its narrative and its bucket-load of flaws!

      Like

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