Snowpiercer, a horribly stupid movie reviewed in the beauty of haiku.
THIS ENORMOUS ENTRY SUBMITTED BY THE ENORMOUSLY TESTICLED BRIAN FROM:
Snowpiercer: A Haiku-powered Journey
“Train Kept A-Rollin”
Train runs ‘round the world
Every piece of track intact
No need for upkeep
“Around the World”
What’s the point of the
train going around the world?
Small circle instead?
“Caste System”
Rich front, poor back, but
why are there poor on the train
in the first place, huh?
“The Arm”
Cold enough to freeze
this guy’s arm off, but later
we’ll just walk outside
“Accents”
This kid lived his whole
life on the train, but speaks like
Benny Hill? Nonsense
“The Revolution Begins”
Puts gun to forehead
Click. Not loaded. But he could
have aimed it elsewhere
“Roach Bars”
We’re eating roaches!
We find that gross! Even though
we ate human flesh
“Packing on the Pounds”
If we only eat
roach bars, then why is that one
woman heavyset?
“Meat Locker”
Frozen…
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Yeah dude.I’m not gonna lie, I’ve gone back and forth on this one (haven’t seen it yet), but the look of Tilda Swinton is enough to make me scoff at this thing. I guess I’m just looking forward to seeing Chris Evans in anything but Captain America. how does he do in the film? Is he bad too…?
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Hahaha Swinton is probably the best part of this movie! There is no arguing with its flaws that is for sure, but it does has some things going for it. I’d give it at least one try, its certainly a unique movie, both in terms of its narrative and its bucket-load of flaws!
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One of the worse movies I have seen in a long long long long time.
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I actually loved this movie but your post cracked me up. Bahaha I am still chuckling. Funny as hell write up mate!
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