Here is my negative review of Blade Runner and its numerous goofs. Please read it in a Harrison Ford monotone.
BY: HARD TICKET TO HOME VIDEO
Shitfest 2014: Summer
I realize that I’m in the minority here, but I loathed Blade Runner. It’s one of the most boring, pretentious, tedious, etc., movies I’ve ever seen. It’s, dare I say it, humdrum. It literally took me six tries to get through, and I should have stopped at three. And I even watched one of the cuts without the anus-freezingly horrendous Harrison Ford voiceover (I actually disagree with Darabont here, the dove flying away after Batty dies is hokier than the pokiest ho-down from the event “Hamfisted Symbolism, Squaredancing and Chili Cook-Off” by Ridley Scott). And by the way, you know it’s the mark of a quality movie when there are 17 different cuts of it. The acting seems like everyone had malaria during filming. Is Deckard a replicant or not?? Well, if there was even an iota of a reason to…
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