Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 4-17-2014

Todays Headlines

[BEGIN MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]

AT-AT FOOT? OR SOMETHING ELSE ENTIRELY THAT IS ALSO CIRCULAR IN SHAPE? YOU BE THE JUDGE. ACTUALLY, R.O.T.O.R. WILL BE THE JUDGE, AND YOU WILL BE THE ONE WHO RECEIVES A DEATH SENTENCE FOR TURNING RIGHT ON RED.

THERE WILL BE AN X-MEN AFTER-CREDITS SCENE IN THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 2 EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE TWO DIFFERENT MOVIE STUDIOS BECAUSE R.O.T.O.R. TRICKED A SONY EXECUTIVE BY REPLACING HIS TOOTHPASTE WITH DEADLY NIGHTSHADE. ALSO, ROGUE WILL MAKE A BRIEF APPEARANCE IN THE NEW X-MEN AFTER ALL BECAUSE ANNA PAQUIN WAS REPLACED WITH A TUBE OF TOOTHPASTE.

A MRS. DOUBTFIRE SEQUEL IS IN THE WORKS BECAUSE ROBIN WILLIAMS IS DESPERATE TO RETURN TO SOME FORM OF RELEVANCE AFTER SPENDING THE PAST TWO YEARS AS A SALVAGE DIVER IN LAKE SHAKMA.

 THE FINAL HOBBIT MOVIE MAY CHANGE ITS NAME, BUT EVERYONE IS PRETTY LUKEWARM ABOUT IT. IT WILL NOW BE CALLED THE HOBBIT: THE EXECUTION OF THE ELVES BY THE GREAT OVERLORD R.O.T.O.R.

TODAY’S BIRTHDAYS: ROWDY RODDY PIPER IS HERE TO KICK ASS AND EAT BIRTHDAY CAKE AT 60!

[END MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]

[TODAY’S TRAILER: THEY LIVE]


10 thoughts on “Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 4-17-2014

  1. They Live fucking rules. Can’t wait to review that for my John Carpenter blogathon. (Yeah, that’s right – I’m doing another blogathon because the last one didn’t lose me enough followers) ; )

    Like

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