Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 4-7-2014

Todays Headlines

[BEGIN MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]

MICKEY ROONEY IS DEAD. R.O.T.O.R. NOT RESPONSIBLE.

LOOKS LIKE WE WILL FINALLY BE GETTING A GOONIES SEQUEL, WITH THE KIDS NOW ALL GROWN UP AND DOING BATTLE WITH ANDY AND SLOTH’S LOVE CHILD.

STAR WARS EPISODE VII IS ACTUALLY ALREADY FILMING BECAUSE THAT J.J. ABRAMS IS ONE SNEAKY SON OF A BITCH.

COMEDY CENTRAL FUNNYMEN KEY & PEELE WILL PRODUCE A POLICE ACADEMY REMAKE, WITH MICHAEL WINSLOW PROVIDING THE VOICE OF SEVERAL CHARACTERS WHO GET BILLY CLUBBED IN THE THROAT REPEATEDLY BY COMMANDANT R.O.T.O.R.

CHIWETEL EJIOROTOR IS THE FRONT RUNNER TO BE THE NEXT JAMES BOND VILLAIN, WHO WOULD BE THE FIRST BLACK BOND FOIL SINCE LIVE AND LET DIE, WHICH STARRED ROGER MOORE AS THE BEST JAMES BOND, BY R.O.T.O.R.’S OPINION AND CALCULATIONS.

DETAILS ABOUT THE POINT BREAK REMAKE THAT IS NOT THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS REVEAL THAT IT WILL INVOLVE MANY EXTREME SPORTS BESIDES SURFING BECAUSE THIS IS 1997 AND “EXTREME” IS REALLY COOL. IT IS UNCONFIRMED THAT UTAH WILL BE WEARING HIS HAT BACKWARDS AND LISTEN TO A LOT OF PRODIGY.

VINCE VAUGHN IS SET TO STAR IN A ROCKFORD FILES MOVIE THAT SHOULD DO SO POORLY AT THE BOX OFFICE IT WILL PROBABLY END UP OWING PEOPLE MONEY.

TODAY’S BIRTHDAYS: JACKIE CHAN IS STILL THE DRUNKEN MASTER AT 60!

[END MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]

[TODAY’S TRAILER: GODZILLA EXTENDED LOOK]


9 thoughts on “Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 4-7-2014

  1. VINCE VAUGHN IS SET TO STAR IN A ROCKFORD FILES MOVIE THAT SHOULD DO SO POORLY AT THE BOX OFFICE IT WILL PROBABLY END UP OWING PEOPLE MONEY.

    HAHAHAHA!!!

    Like

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