Elysium (2013)

Starring: Matt Damon, Jodie Foster, Sharlto Copley, Alice Braga, William Fichtner, Ona Grauer
Directed by: Neill Blomkamp (District 9)
Synopsis: In the future, rich white people live on a pretty space station with magical medical pods that can literally cure everything, while poor, non-white people (with the exception of Matt Damon) live on Earth, which is now rife with crime and poverty and South Africans.
Best part:
Worst part: Aside from Jodie Foster’s acting (What was she thinking?? Why was that accent necessary whatsoever??) and the horribly miscast Matt Damon, the magic med bays were just a little too much disbelief to suspend. They can cure everything, from terminal cancer to getting your face blown off and beyond. It’s very ridiculous. There’s no attempt to explain how these things work, they just do. You lay down, a wand passes over you and blam, you’re free and clear. How they reconstruct flesh and bone or extract a tumor from your body or remove your crabs is a sci-fi mystery. And apparently everyone on Elysium has one of these in their house. There are probably rich teenagers throwing self-mutilation parties where they’re cutting their wieners off as a goof then just reconstructing them in the med pod. Could you like cut the flank off a cow, use it for beef, then regenerate its tissue in the med bay? According to the rules of this movie, you definitely could. So why is there poverty and disease back on Earth? That’s my biggest problem with this movie. I know it was making an incredibly hackneyed sociopolitical commentary but there was literally no reason for there not to be med bays on Earth. If everyone on Earth had access to these med bays, wouldn’t that solve the seemingly constant issue of people trying to get up to Elysium illegally? At the end, several ships full of these med bays go down to Earth. Why weren’t they there in the first place? What do the people on Elysium gain by withholding that from the people on Earth? Their goal was to create a utopian society, not oppress a place where they no longer lived. And why was this technology being hoarded by Elysium? I would imagine the Earth is still functioning with doctors and scientists, nobody on the entire planet could duplicate that existing med bay technology? And even if they can’t somehow make a med bay on Earth, even though the med bay can cure cancer in 10 seconds, there’s nothing that even comes close on Earth? BULLSTUFF.
Best line:
Android Police Officer: [Referring to Max’s backpack] “What is in the bag?”
Max: [Max’s head is shaved bald] “Hair care products, mostly.”
Nudity: Kruger’s balls.
Overall: Neill Blomkamp was considered by some to be the next Lana Wachowski after the outstanding District 9, so we were all eagerly awaiting his next picture and we got… this. Visually, it’s pretty amazing. It’s probably the most I’ve been “wowed” by a Blu-ray in a long time, at least since Jumanji. He is a great director, and should have a big future ahead of him. Just maybe lay off the broad social commentary, Neill. It’s too in your face, and nobody gives a shit when they’re trying to watch a sci-fi action flick. If you want to make a motion picture comment on health care, make a drama grounded in reality. That’s not saying you can’t made a good sci-fi with a good story, just ease back on the sociopolitical throttle a little bit and let a story develop in its own world. Work with another writer. You would be awesome as the director of Star Wars Episode VIII or a remake of The Last Starfighter (even better). You can do it, Neill!
Score: 6 horrible French accents (out of 10)


I think you need to ease back on your throttle, Mr. Harry Palms.
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But my wife can’t drive stick!
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WHAT???????
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Good review Brian. Got the job done when it came to the gritty and raw, action set-pieces it promised and I think that was at least good enough for me. At least.
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Thanks. I don’t mind big dumb action sci-fi but this was trying hard not to be that, which made it a mess.
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Completely agree, Brian. The social commentary is too direct, too obvious, too prioritized and often gets in the way of good storytelling/filmmaking.
Great work!
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Thanks. Although if I were watching a serious drama about social inequality I’d wish to see people’s heads getting blown apart, so maybe he did have the right idea…
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🙂
It’s funny, because it’s true.
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Yeah, maybe the whole segregated idea would have been better carried by a black, asian, mexican, or indian in Damon’s role. Yeah… I can totally picture Aziz Ansari making this thing 100% better by taking over that role.
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Or Shakma!
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The best part doesn’t make me want to see the film anymore that before. Feel like I’ve already seen it!
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You pretty much have, it’s not a very original picture.
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I too thought it was average at best. Good concept poorly executed.
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Too many cheap plot conveniences, not enough laser shootouts.
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I actually preferred the slum stuff and then got bored when it got all ‘actiony’!
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Nice work. I felt the film became an absolute mess when it got to Elysium. One of 2013’s biggest disappointments, more’s the pity.
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It’s like a movie built on a concept that just never really pans out. Like it got away from the director or something.
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HA. This is a wonderful review. And I pretty much agree with everything. Elysium was okay, but it’s no District 9. And Jodie Foster’s accent…ick.
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Thanks! I understood what the aliens in District 9 were saying more than I understood what Jodie Foster was saying.
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I agree with you on Jodie Foster. I found her performance so bloody distracting. Film was mad pretty though like you mentioned. Was the first film in a while that made me think I really need a bigger TV
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I was definitely thinking, “Wow, this looks incredible” during a few scenes, particularly those in space, but then Jodie Foster talked, and Matt Damon was the whitest person alive, and the med bay resurrected Kruger’s beard, etc.
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I didn’t mind Matt Damon (though now you mention it, he was rather white). Jodie Foster was just absurdly bad though. She was totally off putting every time she was on screen.
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Normally I have no problem with him but he just didn’t fit the apparent ethnicity of that character. They should have cast more of an unknown. Worked for District 9.
I really don’t understand why Jodie Foster couldn’t have just used her normal voice. Making her French did absolutely nothing for the character.
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Agree with everything you’ve said Brian. Don’t need to review it now, I’ll just take the day off instead. Nice.
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BOOM!!
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“…now rife with crime and poverty and South Africans.” – OI!!!!!!!! LOL! Just kidding. Good review!
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Hahaha! I was waiting for you to comment on that. 😀
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I mean really now!
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Not you though, you’re one of the good ones.
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I actually agree with that statement! 😛
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Kyk hoe onbeskof is hy! 😉
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Ek stem saam! Dis regtig verskriklik as hy so rondloop en ons so sleg sê en ons kan onsself nie eens verdedig nie!
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Hey ten minste is jy nie die Kanadese! 😀
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Wat het die Kanadese ooit aan jou gedoen?
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Dit is ‘n lang, koue storie …
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Jou Afrikaans is baie impressief… dit of jy het Google Translate leer gebruik!
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O absoluut, maar ek kan nog soort van verstaan wat jy sê! 🙂
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Google Translate moet baie verbeter het want jou gramatika is amper perfek.
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Ja, ek is ongelooflik.
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I totally agree with you on this one. You make such good points. We South Africans are not the worst thing that could happen to the world though! 😉
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Thank you. I love your people, great accent.
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As long as you going to keep shouting, “pyrotechnics!” at me if we ever meet in person.
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DONE
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