Before you head out tonight and break the laws of man and R.O.T.O.R., we would like to thank you all for supporting us this year. It wasn’t easy with so much turnover and so many stabbings in our offices, but we pulled through and managed to have our best year ever of the 26 months we’ve been doing this. Our views and subscribers climb higher each month, and we’re well on our way to 100 views overall. For more information on our 2013 stats, check out our annual WordPress report here. A very special thank you goes out to all those who came here via searches for ass massage and the German girl’s boobs in National Lampoon’s European Vacation. You basically accounted for half of the views we received.

THANK YOU

We also added some new columns in 2013 that we’re very proud of mostly, ashamed of rarely. There’s Ask Professor Popcorn, Parental Guidance Suggestion, Video for Vendetta, The Unsung Heroes of Hollywood, Reel Quick, Photoshopped Philms, Movie Music Mega Madness, and, of course, Today’s Headlines Presented by R.O.T.O.R.! Plus, we held our first two tournaments, Villain Madness and Mirth Madness. Congratulations once again to Jason Voorhees and Navin R. Johnson.

We will continue to bring you new and exciting columns and events in 2014, such as ass massage tips and German boob tournaments. Please keep reading. PLEASE.

And now, to close out the year, our top 5 films of 2013:

5. Gravity

4. Monkey Shines

3. Never Too Young to Die

2. Shakma

1. R.O.T.O.R.

Thank you all again, see you next year! Peace and love!