Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 12-9-2013

Todays Headlines

[BEGIN MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]

LIKE THE STAR WARS, DISNEY NOW OWNS ALL FUTURE INSTALLMENTS OF INDIANA JONES, INCLUDING THE UPCOMING “INDIANA JONES AND THE AFTERNOON NAP.”

HUGH JACKMAN MAY BE DONE WITH WOLVERINE AFTER PORTRAYING THE CHARACTER 9,637 TIMES IN THE MOVIES AND AT BAR MITZVAHS.

TIME TO GET EXCITED ABOUT “TERMINATOR: GENESIS”. IF THE REST OF THE MOVIE IS AS ORIGINAL AND EYE-CATCHING AS THAT TITLE, WE ARE ALL IN FOR A REAL TREAT. R.O.T.O.R. IS STILL TRYING TO EXECUTE ENOUGH PEOPLE TO GET THE TITLE CHANGED TO TERMINATOR: COMPLETE RIPOFF OF R.O.T.O.R.

JERRY BRUCKHEIMER HAS INKED A NEW DEAL TO HELP BRING “ANOTHER BEVERLY HILLS COP” AND “TOP GUN, TOO” TO THE SCREEN. IF THESE FILMS ARE SUCCESSFUL, BRUCKHEIMER WILL BE ABLE TO AFFORD ENOUGH HAIR DYE TO LAST HIM THE REST OF THE DECADE.

 

[END MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]
[PRESENT LEAKED FOOTAGE FROM NEWEST INDIANA JONES MOVIE]

12 thoughts on “Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 12-9-2013

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