JAMIE FOXX WANTS TO PLAY SPAWN IN A REBOOT. R.O.T.O.R. APPRECIATES SPAWN’S CRIME-FIGHTING TACTICS, BUT NOT HIS RON PERLMAN FACE.

SPIKE LEE’S OLDBOY REMAKE HAS BEEN PUSHED BACK. REMEMBER R.O.T.O.R.’S “OLD-NAN” JOKE FROM YESTERDAY? GOOD TIMES.

BRADLEY COOPER AND CHRISTIAN BALE STAR AS 1970S STUDS ALONGSIDE AMY ADAMS’ BOSOM. THEY REMIND R.O.T.O.R. OF R.O.T.O.R. BACK IN R.O.T.O.R.’S ACADEMY DAYS. R.O.T.O.R. GRADUATED AT THE TOP OF R.O.T.O.R.’S CLASS, BECAUSE R.O.T.O.R. EXECUTED ALL OF R.O.T.O.R.’S CLASSMATES FOR BREAKING CURFEW.

BEN FOSTER TO PLAY LANCE ARMSTRONG IN BIOPIC. DO NOT TAKE DRUGS AND RIDE BICYCLES, KIDS, OR R.O.T.O.R. WILL SHOOT YOU IN THE LEGS.

DO NOT FORGET TO CAST YOUR VOTES IN THE EIGHT IS ENOUGH ROUND OF MIRTH MADNESS. FAILURE TO DO SO IS PUNISHABLE BY FILLETING.