Mirth Madness 2013: Opening Round – Group 4

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At last, we end the first round of Mirth Madness with Group 4! Laugh and vote your ass off, and don’t forget, like an older Sharon Stone’s legs Group 3 voting is still open!

And now, the goners and mover-on-ers of Group 2!

Louis Tully (61%) interrupted Black Dynamite’s (39%) kung fu!
Edward R. Rooney (65%) expelled Wadsworth (35%)!
H.I. McDonough (52%) took Otto’s (48%) Huggies and whatever cash he had!
Navin R. Johnson (91%) hates Dale Dobak’s (9%) cans!
Pee Wee Herman (71%) defeated Pee Wee Morris (29%) at the Alamo! In the basement!
Buddy (59%) devoured Grandpa Gustafson (41%) like he was spaghetti with syrup!
Cousin Eddie (81%) sent Pedro De Pacos (19%) up in smoke!
Arthur Bach (52%) drank Willie T. Stokes (48%) under the table!

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TODAY’S MATCH-UPS

SPACKLERvGRISWOLD

1. Carl Spackler
(Caddyshack)
16. Clark W. Griswold
(National Lampoon’s Vacation)
Quote: “License to kill gophers by the government of the United Nations. Man, free to kill gophers at will. To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit – ever. They’re like the Viet Cong – Varmint Cong. So you have to fall back on superior intelligence and superior firepower. And that’s all she wrote.” Quote: “Hey, hey, easy kids. Everybody in the car. Boat leaves in two minutes… or perhaps you don’t want to see the second largest ball of twine on the face of the Earth, which is only four short hours away?”

LAZARUSvVALENTINE

8. Kirk Lazarus
(Tropic Thunder)
9. Billy Ray Valentine
(Trading Places)
Quote: “Same thing happened to me when I played Neil Armstrong in Moonshot. They found me in an alley in Burbank trying to re-enter the earth’s atmosphere in an old refrigerator box.” Quote: “‘Cause I’m a karate man! And a karate man bruises on the inside! They don’t show their weakness. But you don’t know that because you’re a big Barry White looking motherfucker! So get outta my face!”

TUFNELvBEGBIE

5. Nigel Tufnel
(This Is Spinal Tap)
12. Francis Begbie
(Trainspotting)
Quote: “It’s like, how much more black could this be? and the answer is none. None more black.” Quote: “It was fuckin’ obvious that that c-nt was gonna fuck some c-nt.”

LUMBERGHvCHET

4. Bill Lumbergh
(Office Space)
13. Chet Donnelly
(Weird Science)
Quote: “Hello Peter, whats happening? Ummm, I’m gonna need you to go ahead come in tomorrow. So if you could be here around 9 that would be great, mmmk… oh oh! and I almost forgot ahh, I’m also gonna need you to go ahead and come in on Sunday too, kay. We ahh lost some people this week and ah, we sorta need to play catch up.” Quote: “You’re stewed, buttwad!”

JONESvGUNDERSON

6. Larvell Jones
(Police Academy)
11. Marge Gunderson
(Fargo)
Quote: “Bzzzzz, vrrrrrpt, mmmm, wah-wah-wah, nim-nim-nim, vroooooom!” Quote: “OK, so we got a trooper pulls someone over, we got a shooting, these folks drive by, there’s a high-speed pursuit, ends here and then this execution-type deal.”

WALTERvJACKBROWN

3. Walter Sobchak
(The Big Lebowski)
14. Jack Brown
(The Toy)
Quote: “Saturday, Donny, is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means that I don’t work, I don’t drive a car, I don’t fucking ride in a car, I don’t handle money, I don’t turn on the oven, and I sure as shit *don’t fucking roll*!” Quote: “Who are we gonna tell God? We are gonna say “Hey God! life’s unfair!” You know what he’s gonna say “Tough Titties!””

WONKAvBERNIE

7. Willy Wonka
(Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory)
10. Bernie Lomax
(Weekend at Bernie’s)
Quote: “So much time and so little to do. Wait a minute. Strike that. Reverse it. Thank you.” Quote: N/A

BUFORDvFARVA

2. Buford T. Justice
(Smokey and the Bandit)
15. Rodney Farva
(Super Troopers)
Quote: “Nobody, and I mean NOBODY makes Sheriff Buford T. Justice look like a possum’s pecker.” Quote: “Just cleaning out the old locker, she stinks like ass but I’ll sure miss her… I guess you could say that about all my girls.”

27 thoughts on “Mirth Madness 2013: Opening Round – Group 4

  1. 52% to 48% in the Arthur Bad Santa matchup? I made the difference right there.

    For the first time since this started, I didn’t feel like Solomon offering to cut babies in half.

    Like

  2. Pingback: Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 7-19-2013 | Hard Ticket to Home Video

  3. Pingback: Street Fighter II Poll | Foogos

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