You Dumb Kid: The Legend of the Moustache Riders

There are some things you see as a kid that become a skewed fact that actually turns out not to be true at all, like your dad is the tallest guy in the world or your step-uncle is a fantastic kisser.  This also applies to movies, where some detail sticks out for you and you turn it into a false assumption.



The assumption: The name of Gar’s (Sam Elliott) motorcycle gang was The Moustache Riders.

Why did I assume that?:  The image I’ve always had in my head that I was positive was in the movie was Sam Elliott’s dirty, worn denim motorcycle gang vest with “The Moustache Riders” emblazoned on the back. I thought that it was a funny name for a tough biker gang, but since most of them had moustaches, and Sam Elliott is in the Mount Rushmore of Hollywood moustaches, it seemed to make total sense.

The reality: Why did I think that?  Because of this:

Gar wears this amusing shirt to a Halloween party (you can tell from the picture that it’s a Halloween party because of the jack o’lantern in the background, which could cause some confusion if you thought it was Rocky Dennis).  Because Gar RODE a motorcycle, my innocent brain thought that this shirt had something to do with his motorcycle gang.  Of course, I was too young to realize the sexual implications of the phrase.  In fact, if Gar’s biker gang’s name was The Moustache Riders, that would mean that they are the ones riding the moustaches.  So essentially they would be a gay biker gang.  Which you rarely see, aside from the California Bi-Way Patrol.

Also notice that there is no price given for Gar’s moustache ride.  So you have to assume that he’s just giving them away.  Come on, Gar!  You don’t know what a goldmine you have under your nose!

8 thoughts on “You Dumb Kid: The Legend of the Moustache Riders

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