Schlocktoberfest XV – Day 06: Strip Nude For Your Killer

Strip Nude For Your Killer (1975)

Country of Origin/Production: Italy

Trailer:

*Spoilers Throughout*

What’s This About: Getting murdered after you undress. Was the title that ambiguous?

Here are some of my observations as I watched the film:

An immediate opening shot of an abortion from crotch view. They just don’t make movies like the used to.
Were those sound effects or did her vagina make those sounds?
I’m not sure which answer I’ll be happier with.
See how bad those illegal abortions can be? The Doc even takes the body back to her home since she can’t be bothered.
The opening titles are pure Italian Grindhouse.
Here we go again with the killer dressed in full black motorcycle leathers complete with opaque helmet and Michael Myers breathing. Say au revoir to the abortion doctor BTW.
Why would anyone intentionally belly flop?
I now know where Caddyshack got the Lacey walks to the diving board scene.
This douche photographer has already committed seven sexual assaults on this model. Thereby almost tying our current president.
At ten minutes in, this film has single-handedly become the champ of nudity in my reviews thus far. The title was my first clue naturally, and there’s gonna be a lot of bezas in the Ms. Schlocktoberfest contest this year boy howdy.
BTW, I say we Free The Nipple this year.
Pardon my language, but this Carlo is a C-A-D cad.
Methinks Gisella is a lesbella.
These two showgirls are fucking to music that sounds exactly like the soundtrack to Cannibal Holocaust.
I’m surprised this fat fuck Maurizio doesn’t have Carrie Fisher chained to his side.
Even though I was three the summer this was released, I remember those old development machines for photographs. It’s not all just jokes shitheads.
Sex in a darkroom. This. Is. Giallo!
A flashlight in a very dark room was the only effective lightsaber until the Fall of 1977. That is all.
Motorcycle man lurks in the shadows.
Motorcycle Man shows up to Mario’s apartment sans helmet and is invited in. Mario calls the killer, “Darling” which means he’s gay or we have another female killer.
I haven’t figured it out yet either.
I watched the Borgias, always be weary of Italian women with ornate rings on their fingers.
I knew the boss’ wife wanted lesbian sex with an or “else it means you’re fired” vibe to it.
Black gloves stalking in the dead of night…
All hail Femi Benussi for spending the last six minutes of the film completely naked. They just don’t make films like they used to anymore.
There are bottles of booze and advertisements for booze everywhere in this film.
I hate Carlo and want him dead immediately.
Hey Carlo,
Carlo’s quick temper is no red herring, he’s too much of a twat to be the killer.
Gisella’s gonna leave that stupid shiny piece of glitter above her lip on isn’t she?
Her defense is that just because you go down on the victim once, it doesn’t mean you were close. No argument here.
This Italian version of GTA needs some work before it’s released for beta testing.
After all of that fast driving and attempted rape, fat fuck Maurizio is an impotent virgin.
Seventies giallos really knew how to ramp up the repulsion.
Christ, for a second there I though he was gonna sing.
Looks like it’s another night with the blowup doll.
Camera crew in the mirror! What do I win?
You could use this fat fuck’s underwear as a parachute.
With all of this running water, this movie is not for the weak bladdered.
Maurizio’s killed and his lesbian wife changes the color of her disco-ball herpe in mourning.
I’m glad he’s dead, I was weary of typing Maurizio again.
If Carlo is involved in a sex scene, he takes the hotness right the fuck out of the room. I hope this actress got stunt pay.

Ahh, Edwige Fenech.
Carlo manages to take pics of Gisella’s murder after her blackmail drop-off goes tits up.
Motorcycle killer then cuts off both of her buccaneers! I’m sorry. Both of her fucking ears – an old joke but a great one.
Carlo is slicker than owl shit, Nixon, and the orange dog-dick combined.
I hope that hit and run hurt Carlo. Pezzo di merda.
What’s it gonna take to this prick down at this point? Kryptonite?
This movie is really tits-appreciative.
Another shot that was utilized in Halloween II. Sonofagun.

Ahh, Femi Benussi.
All that bitchin’ leather gear and the killer drives a fucking Fiat instead of a Kawasaki Ninja.
Almost feels as if Carlo is pushing Magda to her murder. Just spitballin’ here folks.
There’s a nice Suzuki in the photo studio the killer could have used.
Back in the old days when burning negatives meant the true ending for any pictures.
Stefano’s a cunt too, but I don’t think he or his Tom Selleck 1983 mustache has the balls to be the killer either.
Stefano screams and then the running faucets start. Take your piss then run stupid!
Stefano got the “John Wayne Bobbitt Say Arrivederci To Your Pene” special.
Doris then gets pretty much gutted, but since this is a giallo, she dies with rock hard nipples that could cut through Adamantium and Mithril.
I’m sorry, but the killer has the gate of a female. No other way to say it you woke assholes.
Christ, Doris had one of her tits cut off along with her boyfriend’s wedding tackle. Shades of Jack The Ripper come-a-calling.
Fucking Carlo falls in the toilet again and comes up with a box lunch.
I want Carlo to die more than I want oxygen.
I wanted the killer to write, “I have a sword now. Ho ho ho” on the suit of armor.
If this motorcycle killer rode a fucking motorcycle, they might get away quicker.
Ouch! Carlo punches the killer down the stairs like Father Karras.
The killer turns out to be Patrizia killing in revenge for her sister who was the one who died getting that back alley abortion in the opening scene. Ya follow? Good.
Carlo gets away with it all, and celebrates by attempting to anally rape the now fully-recovered Magda.
I’m glad the movie ends here, I can’t take anymore of this fucking prick Carlo.

Final Thoughts: Any further Giallos I review really will have to step up to the plate to match this one. A really fun time to be nude and to killed by some bitch dressed like Rachel Ward.

How Italian 🇮🇹 is it: About as much as Dante Alighieri. 100% tariff.

Was It Entertaining: