Home Video Alert: My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2

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My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 (2016)

My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 blu-rayNew on home video today is My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 which is the story of a woman named Helena who is the sole survivor of the original My Big Fat Greek Wedding in which hundreds of Greek couples filed into a banquet hall for a cheap mass ceremony which set the record for most Greeks married at once but during the reception one bride boasted to another about how she could eat an entire pound of baklava in one sitting and the other bride said that was nothing she could eat 3 pounds of hummus in 10 minutes and it escalated from there and eventually all the Greeks in attendance were eating as much Greek food as possible trying to outdo each other and become the ultimate Greek but it ended in tragedy with most of them choking to death and some having heart attacks and a few simply exploding but Helena was the last bride standing and she was indeed the ultimate Greek but at the expense of her husband Nikolas so now in the sequel one year later she has returned to the site of the tragedy as the master of ceremonies for the new My Big Fat Greek Wedding contest and thousands of Greek couples show up now to get married and hopefully be crowned the ultimate Greek and there’s so many Greeks that the banquet hall can’t hold them all so they have to have the ceremony outside but it’s pouring rain that day so all the Greeks have to stand in a field which is now basically a pit of mud and all the gorgeous gowns and sharp tuxedos are ruined but they haven’t seen anything yet oh no because Helena who many believe had her mind twisted after the previous experience has decreed that instead of savory Greek foods such as baklava or hummus or moussaka and the like they will be eating the ultimate Greek food which is of course lamb but not cooked lamb oh no Helena has live lambs set loose among the throngs of Greeks and they have two hours to eat all of the lamb they can and while she cackles like a Greek madwoman all the Greek brides and grooms are trying to catch the lambs which would be difficult even if they weren’t in a thunderstorm and shin-deep in mud and to make matters worse there are a few cooking stations at the edge of the field but their fires won’t light because of all the rain and cooking them would eat up too much time anyway so the Greeks slaughter the lambs by any means necessary and every mean imaginable is shown in vivid gory detail and when they find that the even knives they have brought (a Greek wedding tradition) are taking too long to do the job they just start biting into the live lambs and the screaming of the lambs is so deafening it can be heard over the constant thunder and a lot of Greeks are struck by lightning which they consider one of the most honorable deaths because of Zeus or something and people start going down from choking and heart attacks left and right and innumerable lambs are being consumed alive and it’s truly horrible but a lot of the Greeks seem to be enjoying themselves and with 10 minutes left there are seven Greeks still standing and the judges are carefully monitoring how many dozens of pounds of lamb flesh they’ve all consumed all the while Helena has not stopped cackling and her voice is cracking like the thunder from above and as the countdown from 10 seconds begins there are three Greeks left alive and miraculously they’ve all consumed the exact same amount of lamb flesh down to the ounce and it’s never revealed exactly how much but it’s got to be around 150 pounds which no normal human body can withstand so with three seconds left one of the Greeks explodes leaving only two then one of the desperate Greeks blasts the other one in the stomach with a lamb femur bone and her stomach explodes and that leaves that one Greek the winner and the ultimate Greek and after he wipes the mud and blood off of his face it’s revealed to be Helena’s husband Nikolas from the first movie who she thought had died in the incident but it looks like he was not dead after all just in Greek hibernation so that means Helena was not the ultimate Greek this whole time after all and now that Nikolas has wed another in this year’s ceremony (who choked to death like 27 minutes into it) that means his marriage to Helena is null and void in the eyes of the gods so he and Helena have to battle to the death for the title of MegaGreek but since Nikolas just ate 150 pounds of lamb meat he’s pretty slow and he tries to throw as many lamb bones as he can at Helena but there’s not much strength behind them so she easily dodges them and she starts pulling lightning down from the heavens and hurling bolts at Nikolas’s belly which explodes with the force of an atom bomb but leaves Helena unscathed and she starts cackling again as she flies through the air on a bolt of lightning straight up to the summit of Mt. Olympus where she must face Zeus in the ultimate MegaGreek wedding showdown but that’s a story for another time.  

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