The Age of Adaline (2015)
New on Blu-ray and DVD
today yesterday is The Age of Adaline, the story of a woman named Adaline who is the best carnival age-guesser in Age County and no one can fool her even if they put on disguises or lose a ton of weight so they look skeletal like Abe Dazzling does one day but it doesn’t fool Adaline at all and Abe goes home with his tail between his skinny legs vowing revenge but not before he stops at every corn dog stand at the carnival because he’s starving and later that day he gets drunk and pissed and comes back and says “Hey Adaline I bet I can guess your age” and she says “What” and he says “80 you bitch” and she laughs and says “Fuck you I’ll never tell” and he’s like “No fuck you god damn it” and they kiss and have sex in front of everyone at the carnival and when it’s over he says “You’re 246” and she’s shocked and says “How did you know” and he winks at her for the next 80 minutes while time rapidly passes around them while they remain the same age until eventually a giant robot foot crushes them in the year 3280.
I wonder what her reaction would have been if he was a weight-guesser and said 246 pounds.
I can hear Rod Stewart playing over the end credits now “I wish that I knew what I know now, when I was younger”.
But Harrison Ford still outlives them all!!!
Man… I just wanted to get laid….
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