Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland (1989)

Trailer:

*Spoilers Throughout*

What’s It About: Since I covered the first 2 Sleepaway Camps, I figured I should finish the saga of psycho-killer Angela and her continual murder-spree at camp. I should’ve stopped at Sleepaway Camp II.

Here are some of my observations as I watched the film:

• ANGELA IS BACK!! (So says a graffiti’d brick wall.)
• Not even 30 seconds into the film and there’s bewbs. Sweet. With tattoos on them: “Milk” on one and “shake” on top of the other. I like this chick so far.
• Is she walking to camp? But right now she’s in an inner city. How far is she walking? Is the camp just over the bridge?
• And now she’s killed by a truck. In broad daylight in a city. No witnesses. Yes.
• Oh my gawd. They managed to rope Michael J. Pollard in this schlock.
• So Angela was the truck driver who killed the girl walking to camp earlier and is now at the camp posed as her. How in the hell did Angela know that girl was going to camp?!
• I’d also like to point out that there’s an Asian girl that goes by the name Arab. And some white boy that calls himself Snowboy.
• There’s a newscaster lady who asked Angela that she looked a bit old to be a camper to which Angela replied that she did a lot of drugs (making her look older). The newslady then asks Angela if she can get a gram of coke. Angela then goes to the kitchen and then gives her a small bag of Ajax which kills her when she snorts it. Somehow this movie managed to squeeze in an anti-drugs message.
• The black guy is playing his boom box too loud. Was there ever a black guy in an 80s movie that didn’t have a boom box?
• There’s only 3 counsellors? Well there’s only about a dozen campers so I guess that’s adequate. 
• “Suck my dick, Spic!”
• More bewbs! 2 pairs in fact!
• How is it possible for a camp to only serve fish for food?
• Michael J. Pollard’s name is Herman. He was also named Herman in Scrooged that also came out in 1989. Weird coincidence.
• Angela fishes up a hockey mask and someone asks what day it is and someone says Saturday…the 14th! Ugh. I wish I was watching a Friday the 13th. Any one of them. Yes, even Part 8.
• The third counselor is a cop, whose son was killed by Angela in the second film at this very same camp, a year earlier. That’s some coping dude.
• Speaking of, so after all those grisly murders at that very same camp just a year earlier with the killer still on the loose—they managed to re-open and get campers there? That doesn’t seem right.
• I never thought I’d see a Michael J. Pollard sex scene. I think I now know why he agreed to do this movie.
• And Angela beats them both to death with a stick. That was one lazy and uncreative death scene.
• Now we’re talking. Angela puts a firecracker up the nose of one of the campers and blows his face off. How she was able to put a firecracker into his nostril without waking him up is questionable but decent kill nonetheless.
• But then she ruins the moment by just beating the adjacent fella with a stick again. So far this film pales in comparison to the awesome deaths from the first and second one.
• Arab asks Angela how old she is and Arab says that she thought she was older. Angela then says that “Yeah, the town I grew up in didn’t have fluoride in the water supply.” Hahaha. Wait. What?
• That was a bit long of a scene to dispatch Arab with a simple ax swing. Couldn’t they just imply that Angela killed Arab off screen and save us the time if it’s going to be that boring anyway.
• Whoa. I didn’t expect the girl-next-door cheerleader white chick to call the black guy a n*******! That was completely extreme.
• They’re playing a trust game where they break off into pairs and one is blindfolded and hand-tied and the other leads them around. What the fuck is the point of this? I mean other than Angela to totally take advantage of the situation and tie the cheerleader bigot to a flagpole. She raised her up and then let her fall to her death. But what camp does this kind of exercise. Don’t they just swim in a lake, make bead jewelry and roast marshmallows at camp?

We’re almost there…almost to the plot of the movie. heeheehee.

• We then are helped to a 5 minute scene of Angela reminiscing and flash backing to the scene in the second one where she sings “Happy Campers.” Just more filler. Also this scene contradicts what the cop counselor tells his group a few scenes back in that there’s no photographs of adult Angela because she wasn’t popular, etc. But in the flashback scene she’s being cheered on when she sings, they clap for her and she is accepting some sort of camp award. I’d have to go back to the second one because I don’t fully recall this scene but I’m going to take the film’s word for it. So I guess she was somewhat popular eh, detective?
• When Angela returns the older lady counselor asks where Cindy is and Angela tells her she’s sleeping at the cabins. The older lady says, “What? She’s not supposed to do that! Oh well what’re gonna do?” Hahaha. That’s why you should have more than 3 counsellors lady. What a dump camp you’re running. 
• Did this jock just say that being at this camp would look good on his resumé? How? He’s not even a counselor.  
• I haven’t fished in a very long time but in the two hours Angela and the jock kid fished they caught about 10 decent sized fish. That seems far-fetched.
• I haven’t mentioned this yet but the boom box black guy really hates being here at this camp. He’s absolutely miserable. He’s pulled a knife on the jock and was the one who called the Latino a spic. He refuses to partake in any of the activities and constantly disobeys the counsellors. He even somehow pulls a gun on Angela. So why is he here? And why hasn’t he tried to flee?
• Angela then buries the old lady counselor in the dirt up to her head (she did the blindfold trust thing). She then walks the lawn mower over her head but sadly it was cut before the impact. Come ON! That would’ve been such a great kill. So lame.

I CAN HOLD MY BREATH A LOOOOONG TIME!!!

• Angela then meets the jock and ties his arms around a tree. (He was under the impression that they would make out and he thought the bondage idea was a good one) She then ties the other end of the rope to a Jeep and drives off. I’m not even sure that would kill him but it would rip his arms off. But it doesn’t matter since we don’t see any of it!
• She then bludgeons the boom box black guy. Man, this is so boring.
• She simply just shoots the cop counselor with the gun. Stellar.
• Now Angela has 3 remaining campers tied up and sets up a game to stay alive by trying to locate the fourth camper in one of the cabins. And I couldn’t care less.
• Angela rigged a boobytrap in the fourth cabin with Marsha and two of the three tied up kids gets killed instantly and unimaginatively. Angela then tells the survivors that the two other kids were “kinda boring.” Pot calling the kettle black much Angela?
• Why Angela lets them live is very odd and out of character. Marsha then runs out of the cabin and fights Angela and manages to stab her a few times in the gut. Wow, even that was weak.
• So Angela is still alive in an ambulance and the cop actually tells the paramedic to kill her because she’s a killer and it would put an end to all her killing. No due process I guess. And if the cop is so adamant about killing her, why doesn’t he do it? And if she’s still alive, why isn’t she handcuffed or restrained? Anyway, she kills both of those guys.

Is It Actually Scary: I was bored practically the whole time.

How Much Gore: Not as much as there should’ve been. I would give this film a better rating, despite how bad it is, if the kills were better and gorier.

I’ll give you three, no! Six guesses.

Best Scene: The firecracker up the nostril kill scene. Of course the clip is not on YouTube. 

Worst Scene: There’s so much boredom going on in this lackluster sequel and there’s so many lame and weak death scenes. The lawnmower scene notwithstanding. What could’ve been a great gory death scene was cut before impact. Maybe there’s a deleted scene or director’s cut of the film but not on the version I watched.

Any Nudity: A bunch of gratuitous bewbs.

Angela is back and there’s gonna be some trouble…Hey Na, Hey Na, Angela’s back!

Overall: I really enjoyed the first 2 Sleepaway Camps. The second one wasn’t great but it was good ‘ol slasher fun. It was “campy!” But this one was a terrible bore. All the deaths were either weak or cut too short of the aftermath and the acting and story were atrocious. Avoid this one if you’re a fan of the first 2 movies. There’s a fourth one with really no connection to Angela and another sequel called Return to Sleepaway Camp that continues right after the original and disavows the other sequels altogether. From what I read about that one I may check that out and review it next year because it’s written and directed by the same director as the original. But anyway, don’t bother with Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland. 

Score: 2.5 Nostril Firecrackers (out of 10)