THE GUY WHO WROTE AND DIRECTED THE UNIVERSALLY BELOVED KICK-ASS 2 WILL WRITE THE NEW MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE MOVIE, WHICH IS A REBOOT OF THE UNIVERSALLY BELOVED DOLPH LUNDGREN ARTHOUSE FILM OF THE SAME NAME.

MYSTIQUE MAY BE GETTING HER OWN SPINOFF FILM IN WHICH THE ANSWER TO THE MYSTERY OF HER NIPPLES IS FINALLY REVEALED. IN OTHER X-MEN NEWS, SUPERSPEED DOUCHE QUICKSILVER IS APPARENTLY ONLY IN THE NEW FILM IN A QUICK CAMEO, BUT NOT FAST ENOUGH FOR US NOT TO HATE HIM.

THIS NEW GODZILLA POSTER HAS R.O.T.O.R. PUMP CIRCUITS FULLY PUMPED AND READY TO PUMP EXCITEMENT FLUID:

TODAY’S BIRTHDAYS: JOHN MILIUS, WRITIER OF SUCH INCREDIBLE SCREENPLAYS AS APOCALYPSE NOW, CONAN THE BARBARIAN (WHICH HE ALSO DIRECTED), DIRTY HARRY, AND AN EPISODE OF MIAMI VICE, AS WELL AS ONE OF THE FOUNDERS OF THE ULTIMATE FIGHTING CHAMPIONSHIP, TURNS 70 TODAY!

[END MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]