Shake the Scene: Zardoz


Zardoz (1974)

Zardoz PosterThe Scene: The Gun is Good…The Penis is Evil.

Why I Love This Scene: I’d hate to describe this scene as its better viewed for yourselves. This whole movie was probably conceived, written and produced while on acid because its down-right ridiculous. Its way too silly to be taken seriously as an existential science-fiction, quasi-religious, philosophical movie. Sean Connery (in his first role after he quit playing James Bond, mind you) is wearing red diapers with suspenders, knee-high hooker boots with a thick mustache and long pony-tail. (I hope he regretted saying yes to this role after he was shown what his costume design looked like) A giant, poorly-executed special effect floating stone head spewing all sorts of 20th century weaponry out his mouth (the film is set in 2293!) tells his worshippers that “The gun is good. The penis is evil. The penis shoots seeds.” If you can get past that scene without laughing then maybe you should get yourself some red suspenders and diapers and join a Zardoz cult! But if you can get through the entire film then congratulations, you can basically tolerate anything. 

Since YouTube does not have an adequate video of the intro to the film and refuses to allow me to post it myself, here is a transcript of the Zardoz Speaks scene:

Zardoz: Zardoz speaks to you, His chosen ones.
Exterminators: We are the chosen ones!
Zardoz: You have been raised up from Brutality, to kill the Brutals who multiply, and are legion. To this end, Zardoz your God gave you the gift of the Gun. The Gun is good!
Exterminators: The Gun is good!
Zardoz: The Penis is evil! The Penis shoots Seeds, and makes new Life to poison the Earth with a plague of men, as once it was. But the Gun shoots Death and purifies the Earth of the filth of Brutals. Go forth, and kill! Zardoz has spoken.

12 thoughts on “Shake the Scene: Zardoz

  1. I actually have a print of this film. Not a DVD or Blu-ray, and actual print of the film. And it’s not even the whole film, the print starts with that ridiculous face of Zardoz, so when I found it in an Antique shop I couldn’t resist the absurdity of what I could see on the tiny frames. It took me a while to find an image of Connery, and then researching IMDb to figure out what I had. All this and I still have never seen the actual movie.

    Liked by 1 person

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