Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 1-14-2014

Todays Headlines

 

[BEGIN MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]

JOHNNY DEPP, WHO HAS BEEN KNOWN TO SPORT A GOATEE, MAY BE PLAYING DR. STRANGE IN TIM BURTON’S REIMAGINING OF PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDES.

MICHAEL DOUGLAS WILL PLAY AN OLD ANT-MAN IN WHICH HE WILL DIVE INSIDE A RESPECTED ACTOR’S THROAT TO COMBAT EVIL VAGINA CELLS.

BIG MOVIE HAPPENINGS FOR YOU STUPID NERDS, FIRST WARCRAFT, NOW MAGIC: THE GATHERING. R.O.T.O.R. WILL PERSONALLY GIVE YOU A FREE ATOMIC WEDGIE WITH EACH TICKET PURCHASE.

[END MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]
[PRESENT THE JOHNNY LAWRENCE STORY]

7 thoughts on “Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 1-14-2014

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