Today’s Headlines presented by Death Bed! 10-24-2013


Good Morning my pretties! Death Bed didn’t sleep very well last night to tell you the truth. Death Bed was tossin’ & turnin’ all night due to the news that:

The Fifty Shades of Grey movie has found a new leading man in some dude I never heard of named Jamie Dornan. If only I were to be cast as the bed in the movie I can possibly devour everyone involved to stop this retched film from seeing the light of day.

Tom Cruise is re-teaming with his Oblivion director, Joseph Kosinski, to make a Days of Thunder remake; only this time its set in the 1960s and in Europe.

Apparently the world needs an Elton John biopic and they decided to cast Bane as the Rocketman himself.

And finally what could be potentially good news, the director of Bridesmaids, Paul Feig wants to resurrect the Peanuts for a 3D feature film. While the idea of a 3D Peanuts movie gives me a neck-crimp, the Schulz kids are involved so that gives Death Bed some hope for a decent Peanuts resurgence. 

[And now, the ultra-terrifying Exorcist teaser trailer, Now that Reagan knows how to use a bed!…]


4 thoughts on “Today’s Headlines presented by Death Bed! 10-24-2013

  1. The world has been screaming for an Elton John movie for as long as I’ve been alive. Thank Josiah it’s finally happening and I can wear my fancy sunglasses again.


  2. All of these headlines are insane today DB! Yes, you should star in 50 Shades because that snoozefest is going to need some excitement. Remaking Days of Thunder with the same actor that was in it before, like, wtf? And Bane as Elton John?!?! I think my head is going to explode.


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