Hello, everyone, Death Bed here. Pleased to meet you. Now lay down and get comfortable as I bring you 40 winks of film news!
J.J. Abrams admits he is a lens flare addict and needs to put the technique to rest.
Joss Whedon confirms that everyone’s second-least favorite Avengers character will get more screen time in the sequel. As Death Bed always says, a good set of pillows will get you far.
Disney is going to bring us a new movie all about dog killer Cruella de Vil. Death Bed once had a Dalmatian-skin duvet, but when it got wet with the tears of my victims it left spots. It was also pretty ruff.
[Now it’s time to go to sleep, and dream of things that Death Bed eats.]
Hard Ticket to Home Video 
NERD ALERT: Scarlet Widow is the drizzling shits. everything about this casting is crap. And the character would have been better served in a Captain America movie with other spies and soldiers instead of going head-to-head with gods and alien invaders. Even adding a differently-casted Black Widow to the so-far-so-mediocre Agents of SHIELD would have been a better mainstream debut.
Whew. That’s about two weeks worth of comment build-up being unleashed right thar. Sorry, but I feel so relieved now. I’ll just wipe it onto a sock and fall asleep now.
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Maybe horrifically bad actor James Spader will pick up the slack?
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I once slept in a death bed once. Three words: Silent but violent.
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That’s what your wife says.
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Almost every morning………….
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May I lie in you Death Bed?
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Yes… come… rest your weary bones…
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Excellent puns Death Bed!! I strongly approve of the way you handled yourself with the daily headlines.
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Death Bed is firm, but supportive.
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