Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 9-26-2013

Todays Headlines


Please, if anyone has any idea on the whereabouts of our friend R.O.T.O.R., please let us know. He’s taken T.H.O.M.A.S. and we fear for the robot child’s safety and the safety of humanity in general.

Missing-ROTOR

Kevin Smith is making a Human Centipede ripoff called Tusk where a scientist tries to turn Justin Long into a walrus. Possibly the worst movie idea ever. Kevin Smith will play the walrus.

There will be a movie made about the history of ESPN. It will start out promising and fun and everyone will love it but it eventually gets worse and worse and the last 30 minutes are nothing but footage of Tim Tebow.

Here’s Jesse Pinkman in the first clip from The Need for Speed, in which Jesse “loses everything” except for his wildly expensive car and need for… driving fast. It’s like Drive meets The Fast & the Furious but… no, that’s pretty much it.

Maybe this will help lure R.O.T.O.R. out of hiding:

 

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