R.O.T.O.R. APOLOGIZES FOR THE DELAY IN TODAY’S HEADLINES. R.O.T.O.R. HAD COURT ALL MORNING. EVERYONE IS DEAD.
[BEGIN MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]
REALLY THE ONLY PIECE OF NEWS YOU NEED TODAY: EDDIE MURPHY’S NEW SONG. R.O.T.O.R. WOULD PLAY IT HERE BUT R.O.T.O.R. IS A KILLER, NOT A TORTURER.
WEIRDOS ARE UPSET THAT THE ACTORS CAST IN THE 50 SHADES OF GREY MOVIE ARE NOT THE ONES THEY ENVISIONED WHILE MASTURBATING.
TIMOTHY DALTON TO PLAY THE ALFRED TO R.O.T.O.R. AS BEN AFFLECK’S BATMAN? R.O.T.O.R. THOUGHT DALTON WAS A GOOD JAMES BOND, BUT R.O.T.O.R. HAS ALWAYS BEEN A ROGER MOORE FAN.
[END MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]
WE WILL BECOME YOU TO DESTROY YOU
Hard Ticket to Home Video 
Finally. I was getting ready to ask the President to send in some troops after you.
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R.O.T.O.R. is above the president.
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Why don’t all those 50 shades weirdos just download some porn? The books are shitty, the movie is gunna be shitty. It’s a fact. Do they really need the pretence of a “story” to get off?
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That movie should star R.O.T.O.R. and Shelly Long.
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Mayb 50 Shades will be in 3D. Each pair of glasses comes with 50 gray lenses.
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That’s pretty brilliant, but people would be color blind for 50 days.
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