Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 9-3-2013

Todays Headlines

R.O.T.O.R. HOPES YOU HAD A SAFE AND CRIME-FREE LABOR DAY. IF YOU DID NOT, WELL, YOU ARE ALREADY DEAD SO YOU CANNOT READ THIS MESSAGE ANYWAY.

[BEGIN MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]

MASTER A.N.I.M.A.T.O.R. HAYAO MIYAZAKI IS RETIRING. THIS MAKES YOUNG T.H.O.M.A.S. VERY SAD, WHICH IS NOT GOOD FOR ANY TEENS CAUGHT OUT AFTER CURFEW.


SHERLOCK KHAN IS NOW RUMORED TO BE CAST IN STAR WARS EPISODE VII LIKE EVERYONE ELSE IN HOLLYWOOD. SOMEONE HAS TO PUT A STOP TO THESE RUMORS, AND R.O.T.O.R. IS THE ONLY KILLER POLICE ROBOT THAT MAKES SENSE.


DINOBOTS ARE OFFICIALLY IN THE NEXT TRANSFORMERS MOVIE. R.O.T.O.R. HAS ASKED THE POLICE DEPARTMENT TO GIVE R.O.T.O.R. A DINOBOT TO RIDE ON PATROL, BUT SO FAR NO DICE.

KURT RUSSELL, WHO IS POUND-FOR-POUND THE BEST ACTOR ALIVE ACCORDING TO R.O.T.O.R.’S CALCULATIONS, WILL BE IN FAST & FURIOUS 7. R.O.T.O.R. STILL FONDLY SENSORY RECALLS THE DAY R.O.T.O.R. TOOK SNAKE PLISSKEN’S EYE BUT LET HIM LIVE IF HE WOULD RESCUE THE PRESIDENT. OR MAYBE THAT WAS THE GAME BAD DUDES

[END MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]

R.O.T.O.R. WANTS TO REMIND YOU ALL TO CHECK OUT THE PHENOMENAL SHITFEST FALL AT ISAAC’S PICTURE CONCLUSIONS, WHERE R.O.T.O.R. IS HEAD OF SECURITY.

6 thoughts on “Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 9-3-2013

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