YOU JACK REACHER FAN WILL BE HAPPY TO KNOW THAT THE DIRECTOR OF THAT FILM, CHRISTOPHER MCQUARRIE, WILL ALSO BE DIRECTING TOM CRUISE IN MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE 5. R.O.T.O.R. HAS TAKEN ON MANY IMPOSSIBLE MISSIONS. NOBODY THOUGHT R.O.T.O.R. COULD EXECUTE AN ENTIRE OUTDOOR CONCERT’S WORTH OF PEOPLE WHO WERE SMOKING IN A NONSMOKING ZONE, BUT R.O.T.O.R. PROVED THEM WRONG.

THE GUY WHO DIRECTED RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES MAY DIRECT STAR TREK 3: THE SEARCH FOR R.O.T.O.R.

SAM ROCKWELL MAY PLAY THE LEAD IN THE POLTERGEIST REMAKE. R.O.T.O.R. ONCE EXECUTED AN ENTIRE HOUSE FULL OF GHOSTS ONCE, BUT IT TURNS OUT THAT IT WAS ACTUALLY A SHRINERS MEETING. STILL, THEY WERE GAMBLING ILLEGALLY, SO R.O.T.O.R. MADE THE RIGHT CALL, AS ALWAYS.

SOME GUY WILL BE PLAYING SAM KINISON IN A MOVIE ABOUT SAM KINISON CALLED KINISON. R.O.T.O.R. PARTIED WITH SAM KINISON A LOT IN THE ’80S BECAUSE HE HAD THE BEST COKE, BUT HE WOULD ALWAYS COME BACK TO LIFE AFTER R.O.T.O.R. EXECUTED HIM FOR POSSESSION OF COCAINE. 

MIRTH MADNESS IS MERCIFULLY ALMOST OVER. YOU WILL FIND OUT WHO WON THIS AFTERNOON, BUT R.O.T.O.R. IS HERE TO GIVE YOU A HINT: IT IS ONE OF THESE GUYS:

(NOT MARTIN SHORT)