If you have a kid, you’re going to have to sit through a lot of crappy movies with them. This is a column from a dad’s perspective on whether you’ll be able to stand watching a movie without fashioning a noose or not, and if your child will try to stab you after it’s over.

Mulan (1998)

Synopsis: The Huns have invaded China and a man from each family is drafted to fight! But Mulan’s dad is in no condition for combat, so she cuts her hair, tapes down her boobies and takes his place. Cross-gender hilarity and horrific massacres ensue.

Would you be able to sit through it?: Definitely. It’s not very flowery as Disney female lead movies go (Mulan is technically not a princess, but she does get lumped in with that group sometimes) and is just as oriented (no pun intended) toward boys as it is girls. Of course, there are songs, which are just OK, probably not on too many lists of favorite Disney songs.

Any scary/violent parts?: The Hun leader has yellow eyes like Scott Farkas and is just as much of a bully. There’s a lot of fighting and swordplay and implied death.

Anything that will screw up your kid’s head?: One scene involves Mulan’s troops coming upon a village that the Huns burned to the ground after apparently massacring everyone, including women and children. The massacre happens off-screen and no bodies are really shown but it’s still pretty rough. Also, if they don’t know already, this movie could also provoke your kids to ask what the differences are between boys and girls, which could get awkward.

Any lessons to be learned?: Girls can to anything boys can do except pee their names in the snow.

Recommended age: 5. The presence of Mushu the little dragon and his lucky cricket friend go a long way to kiddie-fying things but there are a lot of grown-up themes and violence.

Rent it, buy it or avoid it?: I’d say rent first, and if your kid positively responds to it go ahead and buy. It’s a good film but may not be one your kid will want to watch repeatedly as much as, say, Beauty and the Beast or Tangled. While it has a female protagonist and it looks beautiful it’s not your typical princess movie, but it has a good message for girls and Harvey Fierstein. May be offensive to Huns.