Sleepaway Camp (1983)

Trailer:

*Spoilers Throughout*

What’s It About: This hidden slasher gem begins at a camp where a counselor is driving a speedboat with a water-skier in tow. The passenger on the boat whines and begs that she wants to drive the boat. The counselor agrees and moments later, she accidentally runs over a father and his son and daughter.

It is now 8 years later and we meet the lone survivor, Angela, who is living with her very eccentric aunt (she basically talks like she’s on stage acting, as in thinking to herself several times—I didn’t know if she was supposed to come across as strange on purpose or she is one over-the-top thespian) and her cousin, Ricky. They are off to camp and Ricky is very protective of his very shy and meek cousin.

So off to Camp Arawak they go and we meet Ricky’s friend, Paul, who gives Ricky the heads-up about Judy’s big breasts (they’re really not). But she is a big jerk especially to Angela. I don’t really blame her, Angela is a few cans short of a six-pack, basically stares all the time and doesn’t say a word. This is where we meet Meg, another counselor who is also a bitch. This camp has a lot of a-holes and bitches, its like a fraternity in camp-form. Here we also meet Artie, head cook, who “jokes” that these girls are never too young. And he’s not talking about playing hopscotch.

In the mess hall one afternoon Meg grabs Ronnie, my favorite camp counselor of all time, to see about Angela because she hasn’t eaten anything in a few days. Ronnie is very muscular and wears the shortest, tightest shorts and shirts imaginable. It’s like he’s wearing a Hooters uniform. And in the lighter colored shorts you can clearly make out Lil’ Ronnie. But Ronnie is one of the good guys and he offers to take Angela to the kitchen to see if there’s anything she would like differently. While Artie shows her the pantry he doesn’t hesitate to offer her some of his “meat” but Ricky interrupts him and the two kids are scared off when Artie becomes violent.

Soon after Artie gets his comeuppance while salting a huge vat of boiling water for corn-on-the-cob when someone pulls the chair he was standing on out from under him pulling the vat on top of him burning him from head to toe! The other cook, Ben finds him screaming and writhing in excruciating pain. After Artie is carted away for 15-degree burns, we meet the camp owner, Mel, who wants the incident kept hush-hush as not to alarm the kids and other counselors. He’s a bit of a sleaze-ball and right away you can tell he is one shady old man.

The younger lads are invited by the older douche-bags to play a game of baseball softball. The fashion alone in these scenes are enough to scare you. Two of the older guys are wearing both a cut-off tee-shirt AND the shortest cut-off jean shorts. Anyway, there’s a lot of competition and animosity between the young boys and the older boys, especially when the young boys beat them.

Later on, the older boys are trying to arrange a girls and boys skinny dip and they jokingly taunt Angela to join them. Ricky comes to her rescue and a fight breaks out between the rival boys. Paul consoles Angela, enough in fact to get the first words from her mouth out by saying “goodnight.” While the skinny dip turned out to be a total bust (unless 15 guys in tightie-whities swimming at night could be called a bust) One of the jerks who taunted Angela earlier is later found drowned the next day. While Mel wants his death to be ruled an accident, the officer on the scene is skeptical as is Ronnie, who is scolded by Mel when he agrees with the cop.

Angela, who is slowly coming out of her shell, is asked out by Paul to be his date that night at the movies in the mess hall. The older girls are increasingly getting annoyed with Angela for not participating in any events, barely talking and are probably getting jealous that she’s gaining attention from Paul. After the movie, Paul kisses Angela goodnight and Angela is shocked and a little shooken-up by the peck on the lips. Judy then teases Paul about having the hots for meek Angela but Paul ignores her.

Hostilities flare up more so when Meg acts violent towards Angela for not going swimming again. Since when is summer camp so strict? Its not a prison right? Its not an army camp so why are the counselors giving Angela such a hard time? I know she’s extremely shy and taciturn but she isn’t bothering anyone. Anyway, Meg gets in trouble for attempting to shake a word out of Angela and later on Judy takes her anger about it on Angela. She taunts Angela about not taking showers with everyone and that she probably hasn’t hit puberty yet. Another counselor comes to her defense and when Judy cusses her out, the counselor slaps Judy across the face.

The next scene is odd. The a-hole older kids are having a nice water balloon fight…on the roof of a building. Seems very safe. Anyway, when Angela comes by one of them belts her with a balloon causing Ricky to explode with anger and having Mel scold all of them for their misdeeds. Later on when one of the older jerks is in the can taking a dump, someone cuts a hole in the screen window behind him and puts a beehive in the stall. He tries to escape but the attacker bolted the stall door from the outside. And even though the bees are clearly honey bees that are covering the boy, he is dead too. Guess he was allergic to bees or died of embarrassment at getting attacked on the can.

Mel is beside himself and really more concerned for the welfare of the camp. He knows there’s a killer in his camp and already has a suspect in mind. He’s a bit off the rails but Ronnie calms him down. Meanwhile Paul and Angela are making out by the lake when Angela flashes back to when she was a little girl and witnesses her dad and his gay lover in bed. Then she reminisces about a time when she and her brother were in bed facing each other and the brother slowly points his finger at Angela’s chest. Then Angela panics and runs away from Paul. How the gay dad and brother pointing at her have anything to do with this scene is up to debate but its freaky all the same.

The next day the kids are having a game of Capture The Flag. Ricky recruits Angela to help him strategically win by cutting through the woods around the other side and coming up behind the other team’s flag. Sounds like cheating but whatever. Anyway, Angela and Ricky both discover Paul and Judy kissing. Paul spends the next day or two really trying to apologize to Angela but Judy keeps getting in the way. Again at Lakeside, Judy is teasing Angela about going swimming. While Ricky approaches the lake, he is accosted and blamed by Mel as being the killer. His incrimination is cut short when Ricky runs to Angela’s rescue after Meg and Judy throw Angela into the water. Ricky vows revenge for Angela.

The next night is the night of the social but Ronnie gives poor counselor Eddie the task of taking the grammar-school aged kids camping in the woods much to his dismay. Also Meg, who has the night off, actually asks Mel out on a dinner date?! The man is old enough to be her grandfather and is in no way a handsome man. I thought this odd arrangement would play out in some way but before that’s revealed Meg is cut up in the shower by the killer. Paul bumps into Angela, again apologizes for his actions and asks for a second chance. Angela says to meet him by the lake after the social and she walks away.

While camping with the little kids, two of them are cold and uncomfortable and beg Eddie to take them back to the camp. Eddie leaves the other 4-5 kids sleeping alone while he drives the two annoying scamps back. Meanwhile, Mel is asking around where Meg is. He finds her corpse in the shower with a slice in her back from neck to butt. He vows vengeance for her and goes to find Ricky.

The killer then goes into the cabin with Judy, who is alone because she’s too cool for the social. The killer punches her, covers he face with a pillow and proceeds to ram Judy’s hot curling iron into her vagina! Its not shown on screen obviously but its very much implied. Meanwhile, Eddie returns to the camp site with the other kids and finds them hacked to pieces! Ricky, coming back from the social, is attacked by Mel. Mel pounces and punches Ricky in a fit of rage so much it knocks out Ricky. As he tries to flee the scene he gets an arrow shot into his throat.

Ronnie is made aware that the young kids were slaughtered and gathers up the other counselors and they are all later greeted by the same police officer from the drowning victim. Paul meets Angela at the lake as arranged and Angela wants to skinny dip. Paul agrees. The cop and another counselor go searching for other kids and happen upon Ricky. Bringing him back to the camp other counselors find the bodies of Judy and Meg. Ronnie and another counselor find Angela sitting on the sand at the lake with Paul’s body laying in her lap.

***REALLY REALLY GOOD SPOILERS*** (highlight to reveal but take my advice and watch the movie first!)

We flash back 8 years ago when Angela is taken custody by her Aunt Martha, who again crazy talks about how she always wanted a little girl and is now happy to have one, except she’s talking to Angela’s brother Peter!

Just then Angela jumps up off the sand dropping Paul’s severed head on the ground and she’s hissing and growling like an animal with such an awesome crazy look on her face. And she has a penis! Ronnie is shocked and bewildered and Angela is just standing there buck naked holding a knife while her mouth is wide open hissing at them!

Is It Actually Scary: I’ve never been to camp, much less a sleepaway one. Every movie I’ve ever seen about camp is basically the same thing. It seems like a nightmare to me. The Friday the 13th series take place at a camp but only one of the films has actual young kids, all the rest have just counselors fixing up the camp or training for the season. While that series is always a hoot to watch, the element of kids diminishes the stakes somewhat. Having kids as distractions, victims or even suspects really adds to the chiller aspect of a camp killer slasher flick. That being said, most of the kills were not scary or even jumps. All were anticipated because most were right after Angela was taunted or abused. While Angela wasn’t the most obvious suspect she was heavily involved especially how protective her cousin was of her. Some of the kills were at least original to me, like the vat of boiling hot cooking water and the curling iron dildo. However, the shock ending was unnerving to me and the look on Angela’s face was priceless and very lasting on me. I chuckled uneasily when the finale was shown and found a new slasher classic!

How Much Gore: Not too much actually. While they do show the corpses and kills, most of them are done without gore or traditional slashing. Boiling water, drowning, curling iron rape, bee hive bomb all don’t have blood as an effect. The only blood I recall is from Meg who was sliced with a hunting knife.

Best Line: Judy (while taunting Angela about being prepubescent): “She’s a real carpenter’s dream! Flat as a board and needing a screw!”

Dumb Moments: The story was very decently done. The acting isn’t top-notch but no-one in this movie became a star. Angela’s background with the gay dad was confusing and odd but after seeing the ending I see what the director was trying to do. The fashion of the time was ridiculous and flamboyant in today’s standards. But the most ridiculous moment in the film was seeing the terrible fake moustache on the cop when we see him towards the end. I double-checked and he had a real moustache earlier in the film but I guess he shaved it before he filmed his later scenes and had to put on this obviously fake one. It looked like painted cardboard taped on his lip.

Any Nudity: How do you have a teen-centric sleepaway camp slasher flick and not have any T&A?! It’s outrageous! The shower scene was filmed from the neck up and the most sex on screen was kissing. However, the ending gave us more than we bargained for. So strange.

Overall: I had this classic (and its two sequels) sitting on my shelf for over 5 years and never thought of seeing it until now! Shame on me. I never even heard of this film growing up and I’m shocked especially because of the great shock ending. I was very pleasantly surprised how well made it was and how original the kills were. The pacing was great; not one slow or boring part to speak of. While the acting wasn’t spectacular, it wasn’t eye-rolling bad. It was creepy and satisfyingly disturbing and one of the better slasher films I ever seen. I highly recommend it and I’m sure I’ll check out the sequels in the near future.

Score: 8.5 cut-off shorts (out of 10)