Dr. Giggles (1992)

Trailer: 

*Spoilers Throughout*

What’s This About: Seven years of giggling medical school.

Here are some of my observations as I watched the film:

• The title slowly forms letter by letter over an EKG. What will it end up spelling out???
• Music by Brian May? Maybe this will be unused Flash Gordon tracks.
• I was gonna say it’s strange that Dr. Giggles is being so flippant about tearing this patient apart but it turns out he’s a mental patient with a psychotic laugh and other mental patients are in the viewing area. Still, this is the kind of care you get without insurance.
• Why does Dr. Giggles have the strength of 10 apes?
• He escapes the crazy camp and is headed for a town on the map called Moorehigh. I wish I was more high.
• It’s gonna be hard to watch this without constantly thinking, “Bubba didn’t do it!”
• I think this girl Jen was in one of those witchcraft shows.
• This movie couldn’t be more early ’90s if Dr. Giggles somehow caused the collapse of the Soviet Union.
• Looks like Jen has a bad heart. Will falling in love with Dr. Giggles be the cure?
• So he returns to his house, which I guess was also his or his dad’s home office, and breaks down a wall that has the old office door behind it? Who put up that wall? And why would they keep the door intact?
• Jen says that an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Will that prove prophetic at the end when they kill Dr. Giggles by bombarding him with apples?
• Apparently the townsfolk lynched Dr. Giggles’ dad years ago. That’s what happens when you don’t take Medicaid.
• How does Dr. Giggles not hear these teens in his house, banging on a door, but they can hear his gigglings?
• Seems like Dr. Giggles has a vial of green liquid that liquifies your insides when injected. Sure thing.
• After the town sheriff busts up a teen beer blast, they get a call in from Dr. Giggle’s lonely neighbor, and the sheriff says, “Crazy broad sees rapists in her hemorrhoid cream.” Hysterical.
• How did Dr. Giggles sneak this pill into the crazy lady’s bathroom? 
• So Daddy Giggles kept cutting out patients’ hearts because his wife needed a transplant. I guess that would turn the town against anyone. And oh weird, just like Jen. I wonder if that comes into play somehow.
• In this disgustingly filthy house the deputy finds a scrap of the crazy camp uniform Dr. Giggles was wearing, like it’s some revealing clue that really stood out from all the other shit in there.
• Jen’s mom also died during an operation. If I lived in Moorehigh I’d probably go out of town if I needed a medical procedure. 
• Jen throws her heart monitor in her fish tank. Yeah, I guess living is pretty overrated.
• This kid is playing Dr. Mario, which is funny, but he’s playing it with a joystick on the NES and hitting the button way too many times. There should be a video game coach on set for scenes like this. Just watch this clip of Beau Bridges from The Wizard. He’s playing TMNT like he has a live wire up his ass. And Zelda isn’t exactly a button-masher. And why is Christian Slater such a dick about it?

• Dr. Giggles assaults a girl in her house and tells her not to scream. Why wouldn’t she? 
• She gets a long thermometer jabbed in her mouth, which I guess makes sense since she was about to have sex.
• Jen’s stepmom is about 6 months older than Jen and a huge bitch. Dr. Giggles will surely have an opinion on this.
• Jen’s stepmom eats ice cream and Dr. Giggles comes by and fatally pumps her stomach. Just like Rod Stewart.
• I’m all for Dr. Giggles murdering these douchebags, but it all seems to be very random. Is he just hitting every house on his street?
• Looks like Dr. Giggles got his adorable giggle from his dad and him laughing at his mom dying.
• Jen’s boyfriend Max makes out with another girl at the saxophone room at school. Why would the school be open to these kids? Everyone in this movie is an asshole, including Jen and her dad. Maybe not the sheriff.
• Ohhh, he broke her “heart.” Now I get it.
• Dr. Giggles just wants to help why won’t they let him help.
• Where did Dr. Giggles get a giant novelty band aid?
• Why is this hall of mirrors making everyone’s voice echo? Why is there no one else from the crowded carnival in the house of mirrors?
• Dr. Giggles seems to have all the stealth of a triceratops with three broken legs but he’s constantly sneaking up on people.

• So during his dad’s lynching, kid Dr. Giggles escaped because his dad had sewn him up in his wife’s corpse. There’s a scene of him cutting his way out of her nude body as the Sheriff watches. Ok, first of all, he would suffocate. Second, there were no stitches on the front of the body. Third, if it was a lynching, how did his dad know to do this? And in the time it took, couldn’t they have just left the house? D, the sheriff says he passed out, and when he woke up the bloody mess was cleaned up and the mom had been sewn back up. Yes, a deranged 7-year-old did this.
• Wait then how did Dr. Giggles end up at the crazy camp?
• Everyone knows where Dr. Giggles’ house is, maybe we go check there?
• I’ve never seen a (legitimate) doctor’s office with lighting this poor.
• Is there no security here?
• This huge doctor’s office facility is under this dumpy house??
• I do like that everyone he’s killed is staged in the waiting room with their hearts cut out so he can fix Jen. He’s actually the hero here.
• The deputy does have a radio to call this in to the other police, right? They need to put Dr. Giggles under cardiac arrest!
• You know, I can’t say I’ve really noticed anything special about Brian May’s music. Are we sure it’s Queen’s Brian May?
• This climax is going on about 20 minutes too long. Someone call Sting.
• Dr. Giggles’ house is apparently 12 feet from the carnival, and on a full residential street, not out in the middle of nowhere. No one heard the gunshots or screaming?
• Anyway his house explodes, then later he shows up at Jen’s heart surgery. This seems unnecessary and it should’ve just ended at his house.
• Jen electrocutes him in a manner that would absolutely electrocute her as well. Then she stabs him with some weird instruments he brought. Can we end this already?

Final Thoughts: This movie is noting but shoehorned doctor puns, with mixed results. It’s exactly what you expect it to be, pretty stupid but fairly entertaining. But if you like this kind of cheesy ’90s nonsense, you could do worse. And if you don’t, I don’t have the heart to tell you.

Score: 6 Sick Jokes (out of 10)