Shaun the Sheep Movie (2015)

New on home video today is Shaun the Sheep which tells the story of a sheep named Shaun who was shorn with sharpened shears but shorn sheep shouldn’t sleep in a shack shorn sheep should sleep in a shed and Silly Sally swiftly shooed seven silly sheep and the seven silly sheep Silly Sally shooed shilly-shallied south and out of six sick shorn sheep the sixth sheik’s sixth sheep is sick.

Own it today!

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Ricki and the Flash (2015)

New on home video today is Ricki and the Flash which tells the story of a middle-aged woman named Ricki who found out that she could burn men alive with the power of her hot flashes and at first she uses it to flash-fry some dudes who are trying to assault her but eventually she’s flash-frying all men who dare try to keep her down including her boss and that smug prick at the drugstore who says he won’t refill her meds anymore because she’s obviously been forging the scrips and she flashes the fuck out of him but does it so hard the whole building burns and she finds that she likes it and so she becomes like a super villain going around flashing banks and shit and getting all the money out of the vault she can before all the bills burn and eventually she flashes Fort Knox and it explodes with the force of like a million golden atom bombs and it destroys most of the Mideast United States and also knocks the god damn moon out of alignment and we all know that the moon regulates women’s moods so it takes away her powers so she has to answer for her crimes by walking around with a sandwich board that says, “Sorry” but she’s really not.

Own it today!