ROBIN WILLIAMS IS DEAD. R.O.T.O.R. NOT RESPONSIBLE.

 LAUREN BACALL IS DEAD. R.O.T.O.R. RESPONSIBLE.

THE GOOD NEWS: IT LOOKS LIKE MICHAEL BAY WILL STOP DIRECTING TRANSFORMERS MOVIES. THE BAD NEWS: SOME OTHER SHITTY DIRECTOR WILL JUST COME ALONG AND MAKE MORE TERRIBLE TRANSFORMERS MOVIES.

THERE ARE TWO AQUAMAN SCRIPTS CURRENTLY BEING WRITTEN. R.O.T.O.R.’S SOURCES INDICATED UNDER DURESS THAT ONE IS A CLAYMATION FEATURE RATED G AND THE OTHER IS ESSENTIALLY A LOW-BUDGET PORN FEATURING GRAPHIC FISH SEX.

LEX LUTHOR IS GOING TO STEAL ZOD’S BODY AND USE IT TO MAKE DOOMSDAY TO KILL SUPERMAN (SPOILERS).

MICHAEL ASSBENDER’S ASSASSIN’S CREED MOVIE WILL BE SET DURING THE SPANISH INQUISITION, WHICH WAS ONE OF R.O.T.O.R.’S FAVORITE AND MOST ENJOYABLE TIMES IN HISTORY.

MARTIN LAWRENCE REALLY, REALLY, REALLY HOPES BAD BOYS 3 IS IN THE WORKS.

THIS WEEK’S TOP 5 BIRTHDAYS:

5. HULK HOGAN (61)
4. JENNIFER LAWRENCE (24)
3. SAM J. JONES (60)
2. SAM ELLIOTT (70)
1. STEVE MARTIN (69)

 TRAILERS OF THE WEEK: