Here we are again for our quarterly review of the brain- and stomach- and soul-churning tweets of unfrozen Mayan God child Jaden Smith, who, like a rapper who loves sharp things, will never disappoint. (see our first three case studies here and here and here)
Young Jaden: Here's The Deal For Every Time Out You Give Me, You'll Give Me 15 Dollars For Therapy When I Get Older.
— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) April 26, 2014
Either I Lie To You Or We Cry Together
— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) April 30, 2014
I Scare People Away
— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) May 1, 2014
When You Live Your Whole Life In A Prison Freedom Can Be So Dull.
— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) May 1, 2014
SPIDER MAN IS AMAZING OH MY GOD !!!!!! PLEASE GO WATCH IT
— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) May 2, 2014
Arnold Swayze
— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) May 8, 2014
Life Is Painfully Beautiful.
— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) May 9, 2014
You Can Discover Everything You Need To Know About Everything By Looking At Your Hands
— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) May 10, 2014
Fixed Habits To Respond To Authority Takes 12 Years. Have Fun 😀👍
— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) May 12, 2014
Obviously Shia LaBeouf And Edgar Casey Are The a Only Ones Who Know What's Going On Here.
— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) May 14, 2014
They Distract You With Us So You Don't Pay Attention To The Missing Girls In Nigeria.
— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) May 15, 2014
No One Belived Galileo Either.
— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) June 17, 2014
Anything You See In Any Magazine Ever Is Fake.
— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) July 4, 2014
And If You Ask Me They Have About 5 More Years Until That Entire Industry Is A Graveyard.
— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) July 4, 2014
Are You Happy?
— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) July 10, 2014
Do You Go To Sleep Excited To Wake Up The Next day?
— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) July 15, 2014
1% Last Forever.
— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) July 16, 2014
Jake Gylenhaal Is A Genius.
— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) July 24, 2014
Becuase You Have Bin Taught That Complaining Is Easier Than Doing.
— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) July 29, 2014
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Hard Ticket to Home Video 
Are You Happy? Yes, Because I Thought About It This Morning And Realized It Has Been A While Since You Posted Another Article With These Gloriously Groundbreaking Tweets.
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These posts have to be infrequent because putting them too close together would cause dangerous levels of mind-blowing.
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Are You Happy?
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Nope.
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That last tweet is the most ironic thing in the universe. Can this kid just have an “accidental baseball bat to the head” please.
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Baseball bats are made of trees, and most trees are blue, so most baseball bats are blue. Think about it.
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hahah Keanu’s face at the end says it all.
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He’s shouting, “WAR!!”
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Wow…
Now i wanna go watch bill & ted. Forgot about that little gem.
: )
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Don’t forget the underrated sequel, Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey.
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EXCELLENT! thank you for reminding me. Mr. Brian@ Hard Ticket to Home Video, Esquire….
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‘You Can Discover Everything You Need To Know About Everything By Looking At Your Hands’
The little fucker is correct, my hands are covered in blood
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And various other fluids.
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I’m sorry…what? haha this kid…
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He needs his own cult.
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No but really…how has R.O.T.O.R. allowed this to keep happening? Hasn’t this kid wracked up like 17,354 citations by now? And isn’t that 17,355 death sentences? I know that’s one more death sentence than the amount of citations, but I feel like R.O.T.O.R. would add one or two just because.
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He has the death sentence on 12 systems.
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Rightly so.
#justice
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Yeah, the Bill and Ted image about sums it up
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Ted was like Tesla compared to this kid. The scientist, not the band. But also the band.
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Obviously I came here to fill my wtf quota for the day.
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Werewolf Tickle Fingers?
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How did you know?!
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He does spread a lot of wisdom here 😉 I’m wondering if all the capitals are some secret message
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Somewhere in there is an encrypted code to a clue for the whereabouts of the secret Illuminati Treasure Cave.
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. Who made him head of Hollywood’s mindless idiot philosophy department? I give it 2 years and he will be holding up a 7-11 convenience store with a penknife at 4 am
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I think it was Jim Hanks.
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What the bejesus is on his hands??? And has someone secretly created some kind of Frankenstein’s monster out of Patrick Swayze’s body and Ahnuld’s consciousness. Should we get our pitchforks?
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I really don’t want to know what’s on a teenage boy’s hands. But with him it’s probably some kind of alien crystal dust.
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They need to go send him to live somewhere that is the opposite of Bel Air!
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lol. What a NUT! Love the Ted gif. : )
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