JASON MOMOA MAY OR MAY NOT BE PLAYING AQUAMAN. MOMAKE UP YOUR MOMIND, MOMOA.

BATMAN WILL GET ANOTHER STANDALONE FILM, AND THE HULK MAY GET ANOTHER STANDALONE FILM, BUT HELLBOY CAN GO STRAIGHT TO HELL.

 AGAINST ALL THINKING, JESSE EISENBERG WILL PORTRAY LEX LUTHOR AS A MARK ZUCKERBERG-ESQUE SMARMY DOUCHEBAG. WILL HE BE ABLE TO STRAY SO FAR FROM HIS ACTING COMFORT ZONE??

SHREDWARD SCISSORHANDS

GET READY FOR A SCOOBY-DOO-RE-BOOT! IRONICALLY, FREDDIE PRINZE JR. IS NOW LIVING IN A DILAPIDATED DOG HOUSE.

THERE IS AN UNSUBSTANTIATED RUMOR THAT THE UPCOMING RESIDENT EVIL: THE FINAL CHAPTER WILL BE THE FINAL CHAPTER IN THE SERIES. OF COURSE, THAT DID NOT WORK OUT FOR FRIDAY THE 13TH: THE FINAL CHAPTER OR R.O.T.O.R.: BOOKS ARE FOR ASSHOLES.

STEVEN SEAGAL WILL NOT APPEAR IN ANY FUTURE INSTALLMENTS OF THE EXPENDABLES BECAUSE BASICALLY HE IS THE BIGGEST TOOL ON THE PLANET AND EVERYONE HATES HIS GUTS.

HERE ARE SOME SNEAK PEEKS ON COSTUME DESIGN AND SUCH FOR THE AVENGERS: AGE OF R.O.T.O.R., INCLUDING HULK’S NEW STRETCHY PURPLE SHORTS COMPLETE WITH “A” FOR “ASSPLAY.” 

GOOD NEWS, NERDWADS. THEY ARE MAKING A MAGIC THE GATHERING MOVIE, AND THE AUDIENCES FOR IT WILL BE A GATHERING OF VIRGINS. 

THIS WEEK’S IMPORTANT BIRTHDAYS: JOE PISCOPO (63), JULIE HAGERTY (59), JIM BELUSHI (60), CAROL KANE (62), SHÔ KOSUGI (66), CHRISTY CANYON (48), ZOE SALDANA (36), KATHLEEN TURNER (60), JOHN GOODMAN (62), ROBERT RODRIGUEZ (46), MARTIN LANDAU (86), DANNY AIELLO (81), JAMES TOLKAN (83), MARLA GIBBS (83), ICE CUBE (45), JAKE BUSEY (43), AND THAT NO GOOD BASTARD JIM HANKS (53)!

TRAILERS OF THE WEEK:

QUESTION OF THE WEEK: