APPARENTLY CYBORG WILL BE IN BATMAN VS. SUPERMAN. EXPECT WARNER BROTHERS TO ANNOUNCE THE CASTING OF SHAKMA AS BEPPO THE SUPERMONKEY VERY SOON.
FRIDAY THE 13TH WILL BE A TV SERIES, FOLLOWING THE WACKY MISADVENTURES OF A DISFIGURED CAMP BOY AND HIS ECCENTRIC MOTHER.
THERE IS THE EXCITING FIRST IMAGE FROM THE SET OF WORLD OF WARCRAFT, WHICH ODDLY ENOUGH SHOWS A NERD SITTING IN FRONT OF A MONITOR.
THE CAST OF JEM AND THE HOLOGRAMS HAS BEEN REVEALED, AND FRANKLY, IT IS TRULY OUTRAGEOUS.
MONTY PYTHON WILL FILM THEIR VERY LAST STAGE SHOW THIS SUMMER AND RELEASE IT TO THEATERS, TITLED “MONTY PYTHON: EDGY 40 YEARS AGO BUT MASSIVELY OVERRATED AND NEVER AS GOOD AS BENNY HILL.”
TODAY’S BIRTHDAYS: UP-AND-COMING ACTOR AL PACINO IS 74! LET US WISH THIS YOUNG MAN ALL THE BEST IN HIS CINEMATIC ENDEAVORS.
[END MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]
[TODAY’S TRAILER: CRUISING]
Hard Ticket to Home Video 
The poster for Jem is just too serious; they all look so depressed. Do they know who their audience is?
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Depressed tween girls.
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Natch. Maybe they can pay a visit with Jason and his mother. They’re so quirky.
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YAY! Cyborg! My favorite character ever.
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For real?
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FUCK NO. I’d rather see Zan and Jayna.
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Is it because he’s black?
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LOL – no. I always thought his character was kind of stupid. But I didn’t really like the Teen Titans very much in the first place.
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Not even Aqualad?
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I only read them to see if Starfire’s tits would pop out.
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Did they?
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NO
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Does Cyborg have an organic or robotic dong?
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I don’t recall – I was just there for the tits.
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The Friday the 13th series should run a marketing campaign in which it will only air on Friday the 13th, that way, no one will forget, and we only have to see it once or twice a year.
I hope the villain for the Batman movie is Calendar Man. I’d also like to see Brian & IPC Eric audition for the role of the Dark Knight’s greatest foil… Film Freak.
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I’d be more excited if Cyborg was actually the character played by Jean-Claude Van Damme in the seminal classis ‘Cyborg’
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