Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 4-14-2014

Todays Headlines

[BEGIN MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]

JAMES CAMERON HAS FINISHED WATCHING VARIOUS DISNEY MOVIES AND WESTERNS, SO HE HAS NOW NEARLY COMPLETED HIS AVATAR SEQUEL “SCRIPTS.”

IN WHAT MUST BE SOME KIND OF EXPERIMENT TO SEE JUST HOW BADLY HE CAN WASTE HIS ACTING TALENTS, JOHNNY DEPP HAS JOINED THE CAST OF KEVIN SMITH’S TUSK.

 FANCY-PANTS DIRECTOR BAZ LUHRMANN WILL DIRECT KUNG FU, BASED ON THE DAVID CARRADINE SHOW IN WHICH A KUNG FU DUDE WALKS THE EARTH, GOING TO GLORIOUSLY EXTRAVAGANT PARTIES AND HAS A LOT OF WEIRD SEXUAL FETISHES.

 

TODAY’S BIRTHDAYS: MARK “NUCLEAR MAN” PILLOW WILL HURT PEOPLE AT AGE 55!

[END MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]

[TODAY’S TRAILER: 24: LIVE ANOTHER DAY]


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