TIMECOP, THE TIME-TRAVELING COP, IS GETTING REBOOTED, STARRING R.O.T.O.R. AS A POLICE-BOT WHO GOES TO THE PAST TO EXECUTE HITLER FOR LOITERING, WITH THE GUYS FROM JOURNEY 2 WRITING IT, WHICH IS NOT GOING TO EXCITE ANYONE.

KATE MARA, WHO WILL PLAY THE INVISIBLE BROAD IN THE FANTASTIC FOUR REBOOT, HAS NO IDEA WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH THAT MOVIE, WHICH IS ALWAYS A GOOD SIGN.

THIS CHICK MAY PLAY OBI-WAN’S DESCENDENT, EVEN THOUGH HE LIVED ALONE IN A DESERT HUT FOR ALMOST TWO DECADES AND R.O.T.O.R. IS PRETTY SURE JEDIS WERE CELIBATE. UNLESS MAYBE OBI-WAN HAD SIBLING NAMED OBI-TOO OR SOMETHING. R.O.T.O.R.’S PROCESSOR IS GETTING BURNED OUT FROM THESE STAR WARS CASTING RUMORS, BEARING IN MIND THAT R.O.T.O.R.’S PROCESSOR WAS INVENTED AROUND THE SAME TIME RETURN OF THE JEDI WAS FILMING.

TODAY’S BIRTHDAYS: BRING ME THE BORE WORMS FOR MAX VON SYDOW’S 85TH BIRTHDAY!

[END MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]