And here we are, the Sinister Sixteen. Let us have a moment of silence for Shakma and consume his baboon carcass to harness his door-smashing energy. There have been more twists and turns in this tournament than a fisherman’s fandangler! In memory of Shakma, vote, VOTE, VOTE! (voting for these groups ends March 29!) Here’s how we got here:
Khan (77%) showed Evil (23%) his wrath (did we use that already?)!
The Kurgan (55%) uprooted Audrey II (45%)!
Zorg (67%) let The Leprechaun (33%) know that the Irish need not apply!
The Lord of Darkness (73%) shut the light on Ghidorah (27%)!
Tony Montana (55%) showed John Doe (45%) his little friend!
Gordon Gekko (59%) cut Frank Booth (41%) out of the deal!
Bill the Butcher (68%) railroaded O-Ren Ishii (32%)!
Mr. Blonde (55%) made Mama Fratelli (45%) walk the plank!
R.O.T.O.R. (61%) shot Shakma (39%) through the door Shakma was trying to break down!
Jack Torrance (78%) took a bite out of Jaws (22%)!
Pennywise (71%) clowned Annie Wilkes (29%)!
Pamela Voorhees (53%) killed Lord Summerisle (47%) and brought back honey apples!
Lex Luthor (67%) redirected a missile at Richard Vernon (33%)!
Cruella de Vil (58%) made a bowling ball out of “Big Ern” McCracken’s (42%) skin!
Sid (68%) shellacked Syndrome (32%)!
Scar (63%) impaled Maleficent (37%) on his spindle made of boar bones!
Thank you everyone again for voting!
TODAY’S MATCH-UPS
Khan Noonien Singh (Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan) |
The Kurgan (Highlander) |
Leader of a race genetically engineered super-humans Best Kill: After activating Genesis and the Enterprise unable to make warp in time to escape, Spock exposes himself to lethal doses of radiation to reactivate the warp, thus killing him. |
An immortal warrior Best Kill: Beheads Juan Sánchez Villa-Lobos Ramírez and then rapes Connor MacLeod’s wife. |
Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg (The Fifth Element) |
The Lord of Darkness (Legend) |
Megalomaniacal Industrialist Best Kill: Blows up a room of Mangalores. |
The personification of darkness Best Kill: His goblin minions kill a unicorn. |
Tony Montana (Scarface) |
Gordon Gekko (Wall Street) |
Ruthless Miami gangster Best Kill: His best friend and associate Manny, after he finds out he slept with his sister. |
Corporate raider Best Kill: Makes a killing in the stock market, almost destroys Bluestar Airlines |
Bill “The Butcher” Cutting (Gangs of New York) |
Mr. Blonde (Reservoir Dogs) |
Sociopathic Butcher/Gang leader Best Kill: Throws a cleaver into Monk McGinn’s back and then beats his skull in with a club. |
Diamond thief Best Kill: Massacred several innocent people during a bank robbery, dismembers a cop and nearly sets him on fire. |
R.O.T.O.R. (R.O.T.O.R.) |
Jack Torrance (The Shining) |
Robotic Officer of the Tactical Operations Research Unit Best Kill: Mashes a buck-toothed fry cook’s face into a grill, which was likely fatal. |
Psycho dad who operates a hotel Best Kill: Plunges an ax deep into Scatman Crothers’ chest cavity. |
Pennywise (It) |
Pamela Voorhees (Friday the 13th) |
Evil, sadistic, killer clown Best Kill: Pulls down a young boy into a sewer drain before eating him. |
Revenge-seeking serial killer/mother Best Kill: Skewers Kevin Bacon’s throat with an arrow through a bed cushion, while she was underneath the bed. |
Lex Luthor (Superman) |
Cruella de Vil (101 Dalmatians) |
Greatest criminal mind/real estate mogul Best Kill: Nearly kills Superman with a Kryptonite necklace. His rocket, which activated the San Andreas fault in California, killed countless citizens including Lois Lane before Superman reversed time and saved the day. |
Wicked fashion designer Best Kill: Planned the death of dozens of puppies in order to make fur coats. |
Sid Phillips (Toy Story) |
Scar (The Lion King) |
Sadistic toy torturer Best Kill: Has tortured, maimed and experimented with countless toy victims. Attempted to blow up Buzz Lightyear with a huge firecracker. |
Evil and jealous lion Best Kill: Kills his brother, Musafa the king, by making it look like an accident with a stampede of wildebeests. |
I’m gonna be so bummed out if Kurgan gets the axe here.
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I will probably even tear up my tickets and go grab a taxi home… pissing everywhere as I leave the auditorium…
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Don’t lose your head over it.
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Khan vs. Kurgan?? What a couple of fucking bastards running this tournament.
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Whoever you pick has already lost.
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Mr. Blonde all the way.
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He smells like a Cinderella to me.
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Jack and The Butcher all the way!
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Personally I’m pulling for an all-Curry final of Pennywise and Lord of Darkness.
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Shakmaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!
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Exactly… 😦
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R.O.T.O.R. vs Jack Torrance? This isn’t fair!
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R.O.T.O.R.R.A.N.C.E.!
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Hahaha “makes a killing in the stock market”! That little blurb for Gekko rules!
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Shakma wrote that, before he died…
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