Bronson Lee, Champion (1978)

Starring: Tadashi Yamashita, Men-Jo Chong

Synopsis:  Bronson Lee needs to save his grandmother’s farm in Midwest, USA, the only way he can: KARATE TOURNAMENT! So he travels to Japan, because there are no high-paying karate tournaments in America, and runs afoul of the Japanese mob and the awesome Black Tiger.

Best part(s): BY FAR the restaurant scene, with intimidating spoon bending.

Worst part(s): The plot couldn’t be more cliché, but at least it’s a plot that Bronson Lee has never been in.

Best line(s): “You got a real case of sour grapes Gonzales. Get lost!”

Nudity: Bronson Lee’s mustache has been known to impregnate woman just by them catching a glimpse of one whisker.

Overall: If you like martial arts and fun, this movie will kick your teeth right up your alley. Yeah, the basic plot is cliche, but the action is so awesome and the dialogue so fun it doesn’t matter. Besides, they do throw some new spin in there, like how Bronson Lee doesn’t really have an invitation to the tournament, so he has to kick another invitee’s ass to get in (the bald plate bender above), plus the ending, which is kind of different and totally badass. But above all else, look at the guy. Charles Bronson and Bruce Lee had a baby, and the baby f*cking RULES. It’s on Netflix, go get it!

Score: 7 bent spoons (out of 10)