Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 7-9-2013

Todays Headlines

[BEGIN MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]

GUILLERMO DEL TORO WORKING ON SLAUGHTERHOUSE FIVE ADAPTATION. R.O.T.O.R. ONCE SLAUGHTERED FIVE CRIMINALS IN A HOUSE FOR EATING EXPIRED BEEF.

GAY RIGHTS GROUP CALLS FOR BOYCOTT OF ENDER’S GAME. GAY OR STRAIGHT, R.O.T.O.R. DOES NOT CARE, YOU WILL BE EXECUTED IF YOUR BOYCOTT DISTURBS THE PEACE. 

A SEQUEL TO SOMETHING CALLED IRON SKY HAS BEEN CROWDFUNDED. THE ONLY IRON SKY YOU HUMAN CRIMINALS NEED IS WHEN R.O.T.O.R. LEAPS THROUGH THE AIR TO CAPTURE YOU AND SMASH YOUR THIN SKULL.

COMIC BOOK THE SWORD WILL BE ADAPTED INTO A MOVIE FRANCHISE. R.O.T.O.R. USED A SWORD ONCE TO COMICAL EFFECT ON A GROUP OF CRIMINALS AT A RENAISSANCE FAIR WHOM R.O.T.O.R. HAD TO EXECUTE FOR BUGGERY.

THE BOMB SQUAD HAS BROUGHT IN R.O.T.O.R. TO DEFUSE THE LONE RANGER. ACCORDING TO R.O.T.O.R.’S CALCULATIONS, SILVER BULLETS DO NOT EXECUTE ANY BETTER THAN STANDARD-ISSUE LEAD.

[END MOVIE NEWS TRANSMISSION]
[BEGIN DANCE SEQUENCE]

7 thoughts on “Today’s Headlines presented by R.O.T.O.R.! 7-9-2013

Got something to say?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s